back to basics.

2007-10-23T19:34:00.000+08:00

i have moved.

time for change. :)

fresh new beginnings, fresh new everything.

my blog is now at:

http://mynameisjoanneyong.blogspot.com/

relink me there!

*cheers.

2007-10-04T13:21:00.000+08:00

FINALLY able to sit back and relax! at least for a bit.

the past few weeks have been horrendous. been working like mad; presentations and submissions nonstop. we've work still, but at least now can chill for a bit before more work comes.

treated ourselves to hairspray on monday immediately after presentation - our last for this sem, so we felt like we deserved it. and it was definitely worth it coz the movie was SOOOO good! i would rave on and on about it but i dont exactly feel like writing much right now. suffice to say, i have been listening to the soundtrack nonstop for two days since sayang got it :D

*sigh.

OH. and i almost forgot - my training visit pass to singapore has just been approved! got the mail yesterday, so everything's finally set and done for my internship. beginning 19th november, i'll be interning with cnbc once again! yay! and this time, i'll be with production so it's gonna be so much more fun. cant wait cant wait! heheh..

okay anyways i gotta go for now. theing's picking me up soon to go for advertising. laters~!

2007-09-28T23:01:00.000+08:00

i'm home! in miri!

just came back yesterday afternoon and will be leaving on sunday at 0415pm. yay! havent been home for mid-sem since my first sem of foundation.

heh. the past few weeks has been (still is) horrible. workload's been pure madness; presentations, submissions for advertising, readings, journals, and biggest of all our minor production documentary. worst of all, i'm not even done with half of 'em. how to enjoy being home like thaaaat? eee.

luckily our minor production's done. will post it as soon as i get my hands on it coz we only finished printing to tape as i was on the way back home. apparently faizul thinks it's good and the day before sada said our shots look tripod-attached altho most of 'em are actually handheld! :D that was good to hear.

we were actually very worried coz we only had so little time to shoot and planning was (pretty much) horrible, so we felt like we didnt get enough of the shots we wanted to get. but overall, i'd say we did a pretty darn good job for such a last minute put together mini documentary. *cheers for team! we make an awesome group. heheh.

so.. here's some pics off the past week plus. there's a bloody lot though, so be forewarned.

first off, our first trip to pulau ketam when we were checking out the place. felt more like a holiday with the gang :D if only sayang was there too! but it was a friday so the poor fella had to work..

at the pulau ketam jetty.

introducing.. pulau ketam!

piece of shit on an otherwise untainted path.

sweet old love! aawwww.. *sigh.

crab temple.

wooden green alley.

maybank in pulau ketam! you hafta have gone there to realize the awesomeness of this.

my favourite place in all of pulau ketam! i wish i did more justice to my love of it with this photo though. :(

housing in pulau ketam.

astro, baby!

lost in nature.

comfy comfy. :D *courtesy of fern's luke.

seafooodddd.. yummmm.

group pic! *courtesy of fern's luke.

sewage system = right to the ground. *courtesy of fern's luke.

boat ride!

riverside.

director of photography at work baybeh :D

getting educated on fish. o_O

jo and jas.

ooh i'm so acting dumb.

fish farmers.

fish farm.

boat girls!

girls on bikes. (theing and i mintak puji HAHA.) *courtesy of fern's luke.

happy ending to a happy day! (no more mintak puji pose lol.) *courtesy of fern's luke.

the next week, we went again for the actual shoot. 'twas a long day. a long, long, LONG day. went home feeling pretty dissatisfied with our shots. the next day, however, we went into our post-production editing lab and GUESS WHAT WE SAW?

the new imacs! ALL FOR US. *drools.

sleek new imac keyboard. keyPAD, more like.

ahh.. droolworthy.

editing on the baby.

THEN we started working on one. bloody celaka. crashes as much as a normal mac does and is sooo fucking slow. obviously it's the lowest end 20-inch ones laa, but still. sooo, we ended up doing what we do best.

what we do best while editing - camwhoring with photo booth.

* * * * *

ooh and happy belated mooncake festival to everyone!

god. the moon's been sooo beautiful lately. i've been depressing over not having a mooncake to celebrate coz i've been too busy to go out get one, and look what i finally got?

mooncake from theingy!

dear theing gave us one to share and i brought the rest of them home to eat with sayang! not sure what type it was, but it sure tasted hella good. :D thaaanks darling!

then then.. SAYANG also surprised me after dinner when we got home and there sitting on my desk was my ultimate favourite 'ping phi'! so happyyyyy.. the sweet baby knows i cannot get by without my 'ping phi' (literally translated ICE SKIN but i think it's actually SNOW something.. SNOW SKIN? hahah i dunno but well i think you know which it is la) on mooncake festivals and he brought home some from work.. :) aint i just the luckiest?

*sigh. i have awesome people who sayang me. <3 i sayang you all SO MUCH TOO!

* * * * *

on a different note, been chilling like crazy since i've been home yesterday. need to do work! here's some crazy food i've been having:

cheese prawns!

butter crab. aaahhh.. heavenly.

and some durians from uncle chong.

god it's been great so far.

now i REALLY need to get back to work. lol.

toodles then!

2007-09-17T20:20:00.000+08:00

friday
went to pulau ketam to check out the place for our minor documentary. had what felt more like a holiday instead heheh :) friends, seafood, sun, boats, bicycles, FUN. hahah cant wait to get back again this friday for the actual shoot :D

saturday
stayed home and bummed.

sunday
stayed home and bummed. oh, and finally, actually, properly started on my readings for our presentation on wednesday even though i technically "started" on saturday morning -_-

hahah that pretty much sums up the weekend. just spent time bumming around at home with sayang.

havent done my documentary journals nor have i even started on thinking for advertising! trying to put all my focus on getting this bloody presentation over with before doing anything else. eurgh. docile audiences..

nothing to say.. just waiting for sayang to get home..

2007-09-11T19:12:00.000+08:00

it's been a long day; but i'm glad we got a lot of things settled. as of now, the only things due this week are:
- advertising (print ad for klia ekspres this time)
- doing readings on docile audiences in preparation for next week's presentation
- one documentary journal.
- ooh, and not forgetting the visit to pulau ketam this friday to survey the area for our minor documentary production. thank god the new submission date for this is now two weeks later instead of next week. :)

advertising lecturer seems to like my ideas alright for the klia ekspres ad.. he told me to go on with two of 'em; one which sayang helped me think of and another random one i thought of this morning. sooo.. not as stressed as the past two weeks where i KEPT thinking i couldnt think i couldnt think which eventually led to it actually happening and i ended up with bloody horrible ideas. eurgh. gotta stop brainwashing myself into thinking i cant think. i effing think too much. at least now i've got something, i wont be that stressed anymore.. yay!

heheh.. aaand our documentaries treatment that got chosen for our final production shooting got announced this afternoon.. we'll be doing chin fern's! and we're going to singapore! awesome. we'll be doing on SPGs - sarong party girls, if you must. so yeah. gonna be hella fun. =)

and i'm bloody happy with myself hahah. lecturer seems to like my treatment on sarawak pretty alright; the one i took 5 hours (the morning of submission) to come up with O_O HAHA. said if i had a budget of rm10k he'd let me shoot it lol. i dont hate it too much either, so i'll probably be saving it for the future. at least i cant complain about not having ideas on what to shoot anymore :D

*sigh. i'm just glad la. little things like this.. they help you feel at least maybe you're going on the right track. especially for me when i'm always so doubtful about my own work and insecure and unconfident and everything. *sigh. like i said, i think too much. but forget that. today's been a good day.

and sayang's coming home soon! yaaay! *big smile.

sooo.. i'd best get on with my readings now so can teman sayang later. :)

2007-09-10T20:20:00.000+08:00

my feet still hurt from yesterday. *pouts. i need a foot massage.

NOTE: long boring rant ahead. for randoms, jump to end of orange.

watched a documentary this afternoon - "sherman's march". horrendous; obviously not my kind of film. boring, draggy, wtfisthewholepoint type for me. needless to say, i was asleep for the first hour hahah.. but now, as i've come online to grudgingly research info on the docu, i realize that it wasnt actually so bad after all. at least, from the parts i can remember and actually focused on anyway. okay then again, that wasnt much. maybe i need to watch it again. but reading what ross mcelwee (the filmmaker) had to say about it, it suddenly seems a whole lot more interesting than before. but ah.. dunno how i'm gonna get a copy to watch again.

and there's the documentary journal due this friday! i dont even know which one to submit first. all have been.. uhms. NOT MY KINDA FILM. bleh.

god.. documentaries. the bane of my existence. i used to love docus before this. i miss the days when i could turn on discovery channel and go 'waahhh' over everything i 'learn'. now it's all so effing analytical. nothing you see is real anymore. there's nothing you can trust. i dont waaaaant! too deep to take! i like life simple, thankyouverymuch. =(

that, and all the communications shit we're being fed every day.. feels like the world's turning into such a bad bad place. no, i dont mean wars and famine and stuff like that (altho i'm not saying those arent horrible - that's not the point here). but things like.. for eg., how the media influences the masses (which is actually the topic of our presentation next week!) and how we audiences actually fall for it! idiots. okay. i'm probably sounding like a nut here - doubtful anyone'll understand this shit; but if you dont, good on you! the world's still a better place.

well, the fact is i'm still slowly taking it all in, understanding this whole communications/knowledge thing so i cant make a good argument out of it yet.. but damn. dahlah it's bad enough coz i think too much anyway.. add in all this and i'll turn into an insane cynic soon. *tears. dont waaaant.

sometimes it's better not knowing things. i think people who know the most are usually the most pained. i dont know. if only we can all be like children, blissfully ignorant of everything else. the simplest things can make us happy; just like this:

now isnt that adorable?? hahah.. i wish life was that easy. just tear some paper and be happy. geez.

too much going in my head now. this is why i hate documentary classes. too much thinking involved. i dont wanna get old too fast!

what is "knowledge"? pffft. i feel old already.

i need a break.

sayang's coming home soon! he's almost at midvalley already. yaayy i cant wait. i had a horrible morning.

there i was standing outside prima waiting for jas to come pick me up, when this dude suddenly walked to me and tried chatting me up o_O he said i looked familiar and that he's seen me before in australia. so i was like, wtf? i havent even been there yet la. (okay obviously i omitted the wtf at the time laaa.. i'm such a nice girl =D) so then he started la, asking where i studied, where i come from.. biasa small talk. okay that was still FINE. THEN..

dude: can i have your number then?

[panic point!!] so i tried giving my most bewildered, eyebrow-crossed expression. hrms i think at this point i should add that he's a scary-looking stalkerish black dude. and NO, i'm not trying to be racist here by putting all this up, i'm just pissed at how some people have NO SHAME.

me: uhms, no.

dude: why not?

somemore giving me attitude and all yknow.. fucker.

me: coz.. i dont even know you.

dude: which is why.. if you give me your number, maybe we can get to know each other better. i promise, i wouldnt bother you; i'll just text you once in a while. please give me your number.

me: no, i dont get to know people like that, sorry.

dude: please, cmon.

me: no, i'm sorry, but i wont give it to you.

dude: okay fine. at least tell me where you live. which floor do you live? which block? i'm on block c.

me: why should i tell you that?

dude: aw cmon please. then give me your number. i'm begging you here.

me: no, i told you i'm sorry, but i cant.

dude: dont be sorry. i just want it so i can get to know you better. maybe we can go for lunch or something. why wont you give it to me?

me now thinking wtf doesnt he GET THE HINT?! arsehole.

me: no, i'm sorry.

at this point i'm already ignoring the idiot.

dude: look, the truth is, you entice me. when you see a chance, you take hold of it. you dont let life pass you by. at least give me your number so we can meet again. malaysia's a big country. i want to be able to see you again.

the fucker's so corny, it's not even funny; and all this while kept looking me up and down with his sleazy eyes. i was praying like mad for jas to come quick!

me: WELL, there're plenty of people in malaysia. maybe you'll get lucky with them.

okay i admit, i'm never good with clever remarks. somemore at that time, i just wanted him to leave! :(

dude: i told you, you entice me. (looking me up down again! perve. i KNEW i shouldnt've worn those shorts la, but usually guys check out HOT LEGS in shorts, not FAT ones so how i knowwww.. which actually makes it feel all the more sick and disgusting coz it means he's probably desperate and capable of anything which freaked me out more) please give me a chance.

me: NO.

dude: cmon.. why wont you give me a chance?

me: sorry i'm just not interested.

i didnt wanna mention sayang in case he was desperate enough to start bugging sayang too.. but fuck la. now when i come to think of it, should've told him i'm lesbian instead. LUCKILY for me then, jas' car turned round the corner. hallelujah! i told him my friend's here, quickly escaped and msged sayang immediately.

some people. how can anyone be so desperate? and thick-skinned? bloody hell. okay that convo's probably not a word-by-word coz i cant remember much already - NOT something i'd like to keep in mind.. but those were pretty much what he kept repeating. eurgh. i'm sick to the bones.

i need my darling!

2007-09-10T10:40:00.000+08:00

so here's the pancake pics:
the making of..

first two pancakes!

hahah then the rest of them sayang and i polished off before i remembered to take a picture of the whole pile -_- but they were pretty good. chocolate syrup somemore.. *drools. hahah.

* * * * *
in the morning.. i called klpac to reserve seats for the flute festival. turned out that they only do credit card bookings thru the phone and that they only had FIVE more seats for walk-in (!!). i got so depressed because i knew that there was nofuckingway we were gonna get there in time (the show starts at 0200pm) so i told sayang that maybe we should just stay home and get on with the piles of work we have. *sigh.

but luckily for me, the awesome baby persuaded me to go, because he knew i SO wanted to go catch this one. after a quick getting ready, we were set on the bus to sentul via ktm from midvalley.

and THAAAT was where the story began.

we were interchanging at sentral when i noticed this bunch of kids wearing the same black t-shirts. at the time, i didnt really bother to noticelah. THEN we got to sentul (after a stupid mix-up led to us not being able to get thru because it turned out the lady at the counter must've misheard me when i said SENTUL and gave us SENTRAL instead) and i saw the same kids again. this time, i noticed their shirts. "WOODWINDS" with cute little illustrations of instruments. DING DING! alarm bells went off. i counted: four of them. i told sayang and then we were: OH SHIT. if they got the other four tickets before us, then there'll be only one ticket left, so HABISlah! although actually inside i was already mentally preparing myself in case there were really no tickets left - at least we could've spent the day in kl or something.. but if these four were the reason, i would REALLY be depressed.

so there we went rushing in search of a taxi. stood by the highway for so long and yet not one taxi wanted to layan us. finally, one nice cabbie stopped and when i asked him where klpac was, he just pointed to the other side of the ktm tracks and sure enough, i recognized the beautiful old abandoned building. *forehead slap. i asked if he could take us in but he said there's a long way to turn if we took the road so suggested we walk instead..

then sayang and i couldnt figure out the shortest way to get in so we trudged around the side of west sentul. past the highway, the shops, and suddenly saw those four kids in a cab! luckily for us, they were stuck in the traffic light. for some odd reason, it felt like we were in a race against them to try get those remaining walk-in tickets. inside i was telling myself that hopefully they got the tickets way earlier before and there would be just nicely two left for me and sayang when we got there =)

so.. we entered thru the main entrance of west sentul. after a LOOONG footbreaking walk in (my tiny little barely-heels were killing me enough already - i really am getting too used to flipflops), we finally got to klpac. the four kids were just pulling up as we arrived so we rushed into the ticketing counter. it was 0130pm.

i asked the guy behind the counter if there were any more seats left for the flute festival - he told me they were sold out already. my first thought: oh shite. i walked slowly out with sayang and went into the main building where they were displaying the saxes and flutes. no, too depressing. so we went to sit by the lake. all this way for nothing??

(oh and the kids earlier had nothing to do with it. worried for nothing nia.)

so the dearest sat with me and comforted me. at that point i was super-sad already loh. traveled sooo far from lousy old puchong to the OTHER END of kl just to find out that we couldnt do what we went there to do. and, more importantly, THE SAXOPHONES! *sniff.

that was it lah. so i decided that as a last shot, we try at the very last minute - there might still be cancellations. i mean, i give up too easily every time.. wont happen again now, especially not since we came all the way here.. and sure enough, we managed to get the two seats! great position somemore. =D

everything was perfect.

the only blurry picture i took before a laser beam pointed on my camera kindly told me to keep it.

it was a beautiful performance. ohgod the blending of all five saxes - heavenly. i fucking miss playing! somemore at the end of the saxophone ensemble's performance, the basses got up and started this cute tune which led to the others joining in - it was all so fun and impromptu.. reminding me of the good ol' days again. *sigh.. beautiful. then the second part started. the flute orchestra. piccolos, flutes, alto flutes, contrabass flutes (now that is ONE EFFIN' HUGE FLUTE) hahah.. sounded like a symphony of strings. played ave maria and the whole nutcracker suite. 'twas all very good. personally though, i was much more impressed with the saxes heheh although i'm probably biased there. =)

pictures pictures..

little duckies in the lake.

sayang took this while cheering me up.

my cute preppy darling. :D

camwhores!! =)

we walked back out to the ktm station after the performance coz it wasnt too hot and just the perfect weather. a nice security guard allowed us to cut thru the fence to get to the ktm station. i have this fear of crossing train tracks coz i keep thinking some part of you'll get stuck somewhere and you wont be able to get out before the train comes and then SQUISH. ew. okay nevermind. but needless to say, sayang and i crossed safely and soon enough we were (together with our empty growling stomachs) on the way to midvalley. NANDO'S! hahah.. gluttons.

then then then.. we came home. goodnight.

hahah.. so much shit in this post today. i'd better ride this writing wave and start bullshitting some for my documentary journal eeps =(

2007-09-09T00:50:00.000+08:00

just finished a destressing session on ian's blog. cant help it - was bored! heheh..

slept for the most part of the day after coming home from submitting my advertising assignment (which i completely hate - in my opinion my worst work so far) and lunch with sayang at i0i's pizza hut. woke up at 0800ish and i made my FIRST EVER PANCAKES! and i have to honestly say i think they're actually not too bad for a first attempt. *big grins. and hey, somemore not INSTANT PANCAKE MIX okayyy.. made all by myself with flour, condensed milk, sugar, egg and water. :D SO PROUD OF MYSELF. butbutbut.. I DONT HAVE PICTURESSS.. i still have them upstairs in my camera coz sayang suddenly dragged me down to come online for a short bit which ended up in an essay++ heheh.. i'll post them up as soon as i can. they were AWESOME. :D for a noob anyway hehehe..

ooh and the other day when i said sayang wasnt coming back? the baby actually came home later and brought me chocolates, kisses, and hugs.. *sniff. i am the luckiest girl in the world. i love you i love you i love you! *mwahs.

there's a flute festival at klpac tmrw and i'm most likely going with sayang if i can get a reservation in the morning. kept wanting to call all week but was flogged down with assignments =( i cant wait though! there's also gonna be a saxophone ensemble too which is what i'm actually going for :D god.. i miss the good ol' days.. "woodwinds rock!" (fine, fine.. this means clarinets too if they're played by anyone other than little kids trying to squeak someting outta it! *goosebumps.) =p

so well, i'm off now! been using charles' pc long enough. =) peace all!

i love music.

and chiamie, thanks for calling darling! i missmissmiss youuuuu! i love you too! heehee.

2007-09-05T22:23:00.000+08:00

feeling: depressed.

sayang's not coming back tonight; gonna be at work so i'll only be seeing him tomorrow! howhowhowwwww.. somemore tonight supposed to be a gta night =(

still rushing my advertising at the mo. going crazy. so uninspired.

i think i should just go home. staying at sayang's place coming online's NOT helping my progress. -_- gnites all.

2007-09-04T11:47:00.000+08:00

the days; i SWEAR they just fly right by!

been so busy with work everyday i never have time to update anymore. even right now, i've only just finished with the treatment for my documentary which is due later at 0200pm. AND i've gotta come up with an idea for my print ad because the due date's on thursday and we gotta show the lec/tute our concept first. THEN there's presentation next week on.. get this: "docile audiences". wtf. take common sense, put in a pile of big theories from sociologists here and there, add a couple of fancy schmanzy words, and there you have it: stuff we have to learn in our MCI classes. and AFTER that we've got a minor production to complete which is due in two weeks' time! to top it all off, there's TWO MCI readings to be done EVERY WEEK! oh wait.. that's not even including the print ad concept we gotta submit every thursday too.. eeps. *breaks down and cries.

oh the magnitude of stress we have to take. almost broke down last night when i couldnt do my documentary treatment. good thing sayang made me sleep 'else i wouldnt be here right now hahah.. finally thought of something this morning and finished it within 5hours. not bad eh? it's pretty rushed, but i'd say i'm pretty glad with the outcome. see what full concentration can actually do?

*sighs.

i slack too much lah.

the merdeka three-day weekend has been great coz the significant other finally got a long weekend off work! and.. now he's back to work again. my poor baby *sayangs. which is why i probably subconsciously allowed myself to believe that i 'couldnt think of any "interesting" ideas all weekend' hahah.. thanks baby for the awesome weekend. wont be forgetting it anytime soon! :D heheh..

dammit. i have no pictures to post. *pouts. i take too little pictures now lah. my baby sony has gone into neglect. camwhoring is no longer a daily necessity. haihs. gotta remind myself every day: TAKE MORE PICTURES! hahah.. director of photography in training konon. yeah, right.

so.. i'll be off for now. jas'll be picking me up in an hour i think. gotta go think of some ideas for my CIMB Bank Clicks ad. wish me luck for my documentary pitch this afternoon! toodles~.

2007-08-20T15:47:00.000+08:00

ooh i FINALLY saw ratatouille after eight months of patient waiting! heheh.. i'd say it's very satisfying. i had high hopes for it and everything matched up. if ever we get a chance before i leave, sayang and i are gonna get a hamster and call him remy. HEE HEE.

2007-08-20T14:14:00.000+08:00

researching on astro max in the library now while waiting for jas to get here.

...

*koff. yeah right. "blogging", more like.

:D

but of course, i was starting to feel bad la.. been neglecting bloggie here for too long. i realize this happens everytime i get back to kl. hahah.. and well, i've been back for a month now; and life has been fluctuating between superfast and superslow.

came back, uni started. was trying to spend more time with sayang back then before he started work. ooh have i mentioned my super awesome designer baby's now a part of dentsu's creative team? i'm horribly jealous - i wish i had skills like that so i wont have to go thru any more of uni and start working away. -_- but well. not all of us are blessed that way :) will just make do with what i have heheh.

so now, my poor baby has been going up and down from puchong to damansara utama BY BUS for a total of FOUR HOURS every day. wish we had a car! :( feel so bad everytime i think about it. by the time he gets back it's late and he has to leave early in the mornings.. hence the less time we have together now. but thank God for weekends :D heheh.. i like to think of it as a warm-up for perth next year. ooh and on the plus side, i now have my very own personal advertising tutor at home! heehee. i just hope he doesnt fall for some cute designer chick at work 'else i'm screwed hahah.. :D

life in uni has been pretty blah. classes started, assignments piled up.. and i only have classes on mondays to wednesdays which is a good thing coz i have more time to start working on assignments, etc.. but also less fun coz now i'm home alone and bored. PLUS, i spent a lot in this past month which also means less outings. for NOW anyway hahah.. which means for now i see the rest of the girls less too. i miss sleepovers and long jiwang sessions and red box/galaxy and video shootings all round kl and etc etc etc!

i feel like a hermit. :(

haihs.

i'd better get back to my astro max ad concept now.

2007-07-18T15:30:00.000+08:00

happy anniversary and a half, love!

thank you so much for putting up with all of my craziness all this while.

i love you kaluthanthrige don sajith chamara jayaweera!

*mwahs. <3

2007-07-18T00:05:00.001+08:00

i just want to be happy!

2007-07-17T21:48:00.000+08:00

suffocated.

i'm suddenly overwhelmed with a truckload of emotions; with fear and worry taking the lead.

i guess you could say i'm usually pretty proud with myself for having a plan - my plan of how i'm gonna continue after i'm done with uni. work for a while hopefully in singapore (or anywhere out of malaysia, for that matter); then after i've earned enough, maybe start my own post-production studio complete with avid worksystems. a pretty tentative plan you could say, but hey, at least it's something. it may (or may not) be a reality, but it's something to keep me going and motivated.

yet now.. i'm suddenly feeling so lost. as though i've lost track of where i'm going. i'm so worried. i feel like somehow, i just might not be able to do it. there's so many people out there with ambition, so many with even more determination.. better yet, more with skill and talent.. who's to say i can even come close to landing my dreams? i suddenly feel unworthy of even having such big dreams - especially when this nagging feeling at the back of my mind keeps telling me i wont be able to do it.

i hate all this negative moments i keep getting every once in a while. pisses the shit off me.

and i hate how i only seem to get so personal with blogging. i know i think ~~too much~~ a lot; it's one of my especially horrible traits.. but i just cant seem to help it. i may have given up creative writing a long time ago after i finally admitted to myself how horribly uncreative i am, but writing these random, personal, usually bodoh thoughts i always have seem to liberate me somehow. kinda like how intellectual people love spouting their heavy opinions on just about everything intelligent they can get their hands on - not that i would know; i'm way below that level.

but i digress.

see? i'm distracted already. i'm feeling a lot better now. i hope.

no, wait, i'm not. i'm back to being reminded of how little i'm actually thinking of myself right now.

i feel so unproductive. so useless. i feel like i'm not living life to the fullest.

*big sigh.

i need a looong moment of introspection.

i need my sayang.

2007-07-16T22:15:00.000+08:00

finally closer to settling most of the stuff on my to-do list back home. haihs.

tired.

had mie's laksa yesterday.. *drools. been missing it sooo much! nothing can ever come close..

also been having loads of jackfruit since i've been home; wishing sayang was here to enjoy 'em too :(

on a completely different note, our water tap by the car porch broke this morning. baby bro fixed it o_O with some ordering around by the big boss herself of course, but still. heheh..

big boss and baby brother: plumbers for the day.

yours truly: umbrella holder!

bleh. nothing too interesting. have resorted to taking pics of everything! eeps. turning more pathetic each day. extreme boredom hath taken over - notice the lil avatar with my current mood? hahah. aaaaghh..

countdown: five days. (i miss you..)

2007-07-13T17:36:00.000+08:00

i keep thinking: eight days to go.

i know i should be enjoying my time back home since i wont be home as much anymore in the future.. but i cant help it! i keep missing sayang so much. so much to the point that home even feels different, somehow. and i know i shouldnt be complaining because at least i'll be back with sayang in about a week; unlike theing and ian (who just left this morning for perth) who prolly have half a year before finally meeting again. so who am i to complain? i wish i could just shake off this horrible nagging feeling at the back of my head that keeps reminding me of perth next year..

and since i've been home, i havent even had time to go look for my sayangs in miri coz i've been tied down with stuff like settling my curtin details, flight bookings, etc etc. plus been trying to spend time with mie as much as possible too to make up for the few short weeks i'm home.. *sigh. am gonna have to make more plans with the sayangs for next week; hopefully i've settled more stuff by then. =(

ooh. and i ~~finally~~ got my driver's license today! hahah. but one i probably will never use since i barely drive. bleh.

soo.. okays gotta go. sending ivan out; dinner with mie tonight. ohh and i hope sayang's interview went well..

2007-07-11T19:18:00.001+08:00

i still cant get enough of this ever since ian first showed it to me weeks ago. can play it over and over again without getting sick of it. hope everyone enjoys it! heehee. =) whatever~!

2007-07-11T14:19:00.000+08:00

how anyone can handle long distance relationships is beyond me.

i'm currently on the brink of sanity - how on earth am i going to go through with perth the whole of next year when barely two weeks is already so horrible?

times like this i wish sayang and i werent together 24/7 before; so at least it'd make this all the more easier to bear. but then again, that option's out too coz even being apart from sayang for a while no matter how far the distance's already bad enough.

haihs.

am i being too clingy? dependent? obsessive? possesive? i hope not.. =( i especially loathe girls like that. but what if i'm turning into one of them? what's more, people say you only hate those that remind you most of yourself.

aghh i dont knowww..

i just know i miss sayang so muchhh.. so frustrated now. feel so tied down, so empty. phone calls and instant messages just dont quite cut it. :"( *tears. finally understanding the meaning of "you complete me".

this sucks.

i miss sayang!

i need my happyness.

2007-07-10T15:12:00.001+08:00

federer won! again!

okay, next news. =)

nothing new actually. went to collect my driver's license this morning coz my P one finally expired on 07/07/07. wasnt sure how the procedure went, so i guess i'm gonna have to get back to JPJ again tomorrow. so much hassle for something i probably wont ever use hahah. i havent drove since i've been back.

on a slightly heavier note: had a soul-baring session with one of the persons i love and adore more than anything else in the world. needless to say, i'm feeling a lot more relieved and happy. and extremely light. =)

oh, and i've just seen the transformers trailer again. i cant help it. i feel like tearing everytime i do. it's just so beautiful.. i adore michael bay. who wants to watch transformers again with me? heheh..

2007-07-08T21:21:00.000+08:00

wimbledon 2007: defending champion king of grass vs king of clay?

game's on now. dibs on federer as usual. thought it was pretty rude of nadal to be doing his 'i'm-a-superstar-i'll-make-everyone-wait-for-me' thing before the coin toss. o_O

currently 4-3 on star sports! i keep bugging mie and ivan by telling them the online live results which are slightly faster. :D

laters.

2007-07-08T12:49:00.000+08:00

ahh.. backbreakingly refreshing. tennis all morning + laksa after = perfect. heheh.. been pretty busy lately what with following the mommie to the courts everyday and then hitting some balls. at least the stamina's getting better. slowly, but surely anyway =)

and thank god for tennis; with all the food i've been having since i've been home, i'll be getting three times my current size soon! O_O hahah..

some umai that my mom's cousin made. I'VE BEEN MISSING THIS SO MUCH! not as great as my uncle's, but still. good enough. =)

laksa at krokop. *drools. i cant wait for mie's laksa but this'll do for now..

roti john from burger sam at perwira next to ming cafe.

some 'chang' that we got coz we somehow didnt get any during the chang festival the other day. (i do realize that this lone chang does somewhat look pretty pathetic hahah..)

mie's awesome pork liver soup with ginger. may not look like much, but tastes.. *slurps. =D

2007-07-04T11:40:00.000+08:00

ahhh i'm soo tired. i've got a looong thin line of a red scar on my left leg, my muscles are aching EVERYWHERE, and i'm still recovering from my flu from a while back.

but otherwise, it's been a great morning. productive, to say the least.

i woke up early for some tennis with the mommie and ooh it felt so GOOD. never mind the fact that my stamina's worse than ever from the simple fact that i havent been doing any proper sports in the past six months o_O but it's still a good feeling. hahah.. at least i'm getting my lazybum up and running.

so. argh. life has still been pretty monotonous. just been chilling at all home day doing nothing.. going to the courts.. usual stuff. wish my sayang were here =(

2007-07-03T02:15:00.000+08:00

it suddenly dawned upon me how some things are meant to be and how some will just never be.

add a great song plus a feeling of revelation and what do you get? joanne all emo and ready to burst with so many things to say that no one'll ever understand.

i'm not sure if this is the real thing or not, but i really feel like it is - this time.

i've finally come to understand how all things happen for a reason. how everything may seem bleak and dark for a period of time, but there's always gonna be light at the end of the tunnel, even if it proves hard to believe at the time. how you've gotta keep holding on and staying strong, until finally the grey clouds pass and eventually reveal what has been waiting for you all along.

i've always believed myself to be an optimist, but i guess i've just been lying to myself all along - on one very big issue, at least. an issue that's consumed the better part of me, kept me holed up in misery and not allowing myself to enjoy the happiness i deserved.

for years i've lived in the regret of letting go what i believed i shouldnt have. i've lived in the hope that life has many surprises in store for us; and that one of them would return to me the most precious thing i've ever lost. i've lived in a state of constant confusion and pain and heartache.

definitely not the best years of my life.

but now, i cant even begin to describe how wonderful life is. i look back on what i've lost and it hits me hard when i suddenly realize that it has resulted in things finally falling into place. lost parts have found the pieces they've been missing all along: lives have been brought together and new meaning is brought into life.

[i know i'm not making a lot of sense coz it's all just personal stuff; but i just gotta get it out of me and out into the open away from my system.]

and of course, there's always gonna be that hint of regret there; that sense of loss. they say you never forget your first love, regardless of how it turned out to be. i know mine was truly real, at least on my part, which probably resulted in all those years of regret. i probably will never know the whole story - i'll just remember all those years spent wishing so terribly that i did; almost resulting in horribly embarassing instances which i sure as hell am glad i never got the guts to follow through. and i most definitely will never know what might have been - i'll just remember that it's just a feeling of the past and i have no desire to think of it ever again; too much pain have been involved in this hoping for what might have been.

it'll always be a part of me, that is without a doubt. but just as how i'm learning that it happened for a reason, i know i'll learn how to let go too, with time. and i know i've said this many times before in an attempt to convince myself that finally, i'm letting go.. but this time i know it's certain.

how can i not learn to let go when i've got the greatest gift from God who understands me so well and has guided me to believe that love does equal happiness after all?

now i know for certain. things do happen for a reason. you lose one thing to gain something better. some things are meant to be how they are so that other better things can happen.. and in this case, everyone end up happy.

* * * * *

baby, thank you for everything we've gone through all this time. the ups, the downs.. life is never easy, and we've gone through a hell of a tough ride for a pair such as ourselves. fate crossed our paths, literally, and i have God to thank for that. however, i have you to thank for caring, guiding, and loving me so much although i know i have never been easy with my frequent emo outbursts which obviously generally come from the one reason that i have just cleared.

it without a doubt is fate. soulmates. best friends. twins =)

i love you. here's to the life ahead:

i wandered through fiction
to look for the truth
buried beneath all the lies.

and i stood at a distance
to feel who you are
hiding myself in your eyes.

and hold on, before it's too late
we'll run til we leave this behind
don't fall, just be who you are
it's all that we need in our lives.

now the risk that might break you
's the one that would say,
"a life you don't live is still lost."

so stand on the edge with me
hold back your fear and see
nothing is real til it's gone.

and hold on, before it's too late
we'll run til we leave this behind
don't fall, just be who you are
it's all that we need in our lives.

so live like you mean it
and love til you feel it
it's all that we need in our lives.

so stand on the edge with me
hold back your fear and see
nothing is real til it's gone.

hold on, before it's too late
we'll run til we leave this behind
don't fall, just be who you are
it's all that we need in our lives.

and hold on, before it's too late
we'll run til we leave this behind
don't fall, just be who you are
it's all that we need in our lives.

it's all that we need in our lives
it's all that i need in my life..
- goo goo dolls, "before it's too late"

baby, this is going on our soundtrack. =D *mwahs. thank you for everything.

now i just cant wait to see you again!

2007-07-02T21:20:00.000+08:00

i've been home for two days; and already i'm getting restless. not that i've gone out much in miri town itself lah, it's mostly still just the tennis courts and all.. but i have a feeling it's gonna be a pretty long three weeks.

did my hair this morning. got a haircut and straightened it out a bit - was getting too wild for me to handle heheh.. not much of a change; just how i like it, coz it's no longer as poofy anymore =D

BEFORE

AFTER

nothing new here; will post once i do something interesting or get too bored. =)

2007-07-01T00:01:00.000+08:00

i am home.

sleeping soon; mass tomorrow early morning. missing sayang already =(

2007-06-30T14:05:00.000+08:00

going back to miri in 2 1/2 hrs! ecstatic and depressed. i hate this.

transformers was awesome. if you havent seen it, GO NOW. hahah good thing i watched before going back to miri with lousy star cineplexes and their teeny weeny screens and sucky seats where you only get to watch the heads and the lice of the owners in front of you. bleh.

feeling out of sorts. off now for some more quality time with sayang. HAHA. bye!

2007-06-27T12:57:00.000+08:00

back in kl - traders hotel lobby.

ooh sweet. they just gave us free drinks coz we're waiting for a room with the tower view (twin towers). more like chia pa bo su cho heheh since there are other rooms available anyway lol.

soo.. bringing the mie and pa around kl later; in PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. this is gonna be fun. and cheap! heheh.. trains and bus and such.

okay gotta run!

2007-06-25T16:19:00.000+08:00

i am in malacca now. stuck in starbucks at the moment coz it's raining and we cant cross over to the next mall.

came here with mie and pa yesterday for pa's conference which began today. had satay celup which is like lok-lok dipped in boiling satay sauce. pretty cool. then this afternoon for lunch had melaka's famous chicken ball rice. that was alright. no pictures now, forgot to take the memorystick adapter from sayang. sooo, will only post them up when i get back.

having fun with the parentals, that's for sure. wont get much of that chance anymore after i leave for perth beginning of next year. =( the only thing right now is i'm missing my poor sayang who's stuck in puchong doing nothing while here i am enjoying myself with yummy food *rubs expanding tummy which is big enough as it is right now. hahah..

okaylah gotta run for now. better not keep mie waiting here bored with me too long heheh. off shopping! ciao.

2007-06-22T14:27:00.000+08:00

got bored and decided to upload a few pictures from the penang trip a couple of weeks back with the rat pack (or part of, anyway).

i'm still waiting for the other half set of pictures from jas! and i know i'm owing this set to ian hahah.. need to meet up asap.

three girls camwhoring on the way to penang in the bus.

personal caddy boy. <3 mwahs!

finally. the beach! *jumps around in glee.

marking memories.

after a long day.

we were here.

love's first (beach) sunset.

ian getting excited at the amount of tortoises humping each other in slow-mo.

final evening: sunset atop penang hill (bukit bendera)'s highest point we could get to - by the dumps of a temple. but still. =)

panorama sayang made. kek lok si temple with penang backdrop. klik! for larger view.

aaand.. i dont exactly feel like posting the penang food bit right now. too hungry. wouldnt be able to take it.

maybe i should go scrounge around for something to eat. da!

2007-06-22T11:48:00.000+08:00

i woke up early(-er) today so it is a good day indeed.

i've just finished up my mail to apply for another internship for the end of this year. not giving details yet; still keeping my fingers crossed. and as much as i keep saying i cant wait to finish uni and get on with the real world, with work and earning my own $$ instead of depending on pa, i know i'm actually still very reluctant to grow up. hahah.. which explains the internship instead of getting a proper job since my hols are always so long.

soo.. speaking of 'growing up', i think i shall just.. leave and start ~~blog-hopping~~ being productive.

oh and this space is and shall be for a while very boring because i have no pictures to post due to the fact that i have been spending the past few days bumming at home doing nothing. my life has recently been pretty constant boring fun. enjoying my two month hols to the max. =D

2007-06-21T20:17:00.000+08:00

okay.

*heaves a huge sigh of relief.

my return flight to miri on the last weekend of september's confirmed. was so worried of another screwup like when i ordered my this baby laptop and somehow i ended up ordering THREE. bloodyfckingscary that was. rm10k+ on my mommie's visa! hahah luckily that one got sorted out but i still get freaked everytime i make online orders.

video:
still havent any ideas. mind's drawing a blank. maybe i should go home and try getting inspired there. i think i need my blue pillow! heheh.

this weekend:
mie and pa coming over. malacca on sunday till weds. wish sayang could go too. hoping for a day trip to singapore! =D

2007-06-21T19:17:00.000+08:00

feeling pretty under the weather today. my upper back hurts, MAS hasnt called me back to reconfirm my online flight booking, and i'm currently being overwhelmed by an overload of nostalgy and that 'what if' feeling you get when things are different from what you once thought was. not just myself, but just generally. people change; new places, new friends, new life. and sometimes.. you just cant help but miss those times.

the weirdest most boring thoughts no one probably ever thinks about always seems to get to me i guess.

been sitting around at sayang's place all day being unproductive. planning another music video but i just feel so uninspired. and my lousy back isnt helping much.

*sniff.

it's just another one of those lazy days, you know? and it just seems like it's been more like lazy weeks for me lately. laze laze laze bum bum bum. die.

somemore today supposed to go kl with sayang but we both overslept till 1200pm so tak jadi. good thing i have a personal poking alarm clock or else i would've slept in more. haihs.

my personal poking alarm clock with a donut ball.

okay this is just depressing. i'll just get back on the bed and ~~feel blue~~ try brainstorming again. the rainy weather's perfect.

2007-06-21T16:48:00.000+08:00

am going through another blog layout change to motivate my blogging once more. simple, no hassle, neat. heheh.. thanks sayang anyway for the previous blog banner! (mwahs i love you). there'll be more minor tweaks here and there to come.

will be having lunch now. hungrryyyyy!!

out!

lazybum.

2007-06-05T21:42:00.000+08:00

okay as of late i realize i have become too lazy to blog. hence, i have resorted to micro-blogging.

look me up at twitter.com.

cheers ppl!

oops.

2007-05-23T03:24:00.000+08:00

the crazybusy sem has finally ended. which explains me being back here once again hahah.. it has definitely been a while. so long that even my chatterbox has gotten bored and decided to abandon me. eeps.

sooo.. this sem has been just crazy. okay, actually more like crazy and busy but lazy hahah.. it finally ended last wednesday though with our music video presentation and a transit visit from daddy! heheh..

hrms.

i realise i dont know how to blog anymore. not that i was such a good blogger anyway before.. but well. better than now hahah..

but whatever lah i'll just hantam only lah.. celaka.

so let's see.. major happenings this sem includes:

- my ultimate number one which is my sayang whom i adorelovecherish and is all that i need to keep me happy. no proper words can explain the wonder of it all but yeah.. i love you sayaaaanngggg! <3 mwahs.

- trip to bali with family! a few days is DEFINITELY not enough. the next time i'm going there i wont be there for less than a FULL WEEK! heheh..

- getting my baby laptop for my bday present from mommie and daddy *sighs. i still remember the dying from the waiting for the online order to arrive hahah.. i finally have a more powerful baby for all my editing/designing needs. wahahaha..

- going around kl city visiting everywhere possible only by public transportation. it's amazing the things you learn and the places you can go just like that. thanks for going everywhere with me sayaanggg.. I FCKNG CANT WAIT TO GO BACKPACKING DAMMIT! hahah..

- a whole crazy week shooting our music video and editing afterwards.. am very very happy with the results and am superbly thankful with the awesome team where we made everything happen! definitely would not want a better team than you guys =) check the video out here.. enjoy!

Silent Scenery - Tale of a Wooden Door
ps. thanks ian for uploading!

- daddy visiting on his transit from jakarta-kl-miri. traders hotel is AWESOME and we got a fantastic view of klcc. maybe coz i've had too much of cheap tennis hotels everywhere but i swear i was just so sakai when i went into to room at traders. too bad sayang had to miss it hahah *blueks.

- going to penang tomorrow with the gang (part of). CANTWAITCANTWAIT! we're finally going on the road trip we've been talking of since forever hahah.. ohwell.. at least the closest i can get of my backpacking dream for now =) and i am certain it's gonna be great. leaving everything behind and just plain ol' fun with the closest and dearest for the next few days? awesome.

so there. best of my sem.. off the top of my mind at least; and so far the most memorable.

will be starting to update more as soon as i get back. as for delayed emails I AM SO SORRYYY!! WILL GET ON WITH THEM SOON YOU GUYS KNOW HOW LOUSY I AM WITH EMAILS HEHEHEHEH..

okies now. gotta go pack. and watch my last episode of heroes.. SEASON FINALE BAYBEH! whee. take care all and happy holidays. mwahs.

edit: i finished watching all of heroes. please ask me if you really want me to spoil it for you *rubs hands together gleefully. HAHA. anyways. oh and my chatterbox will be back up soon! as soon as i am bothered enough after i get back from penang hahah.. so till then, ciao~!

one month 'home'.

2007-02-08T14:46:00.000+08:00

it's been close to a month since i've been back in kl. havent been blogging recently coz i havent been online much; not forgetting the fact that i still dont have internet in my place. then there's also something wrong with my baby cybershot so havent been taking much pics at all.. so yes, it HAS been pretty fcked.

however.. those minor details aside, i've been feeling like the happiest luckiest girl alive. everything has finally fallen into place - life has become the movie i've always dreamed of. literally. heheheh.. i love my sayang. <3

then then.. adding to that, this time next week i'll be getting ready to meet auntie jenny and the bugger! then we'll be off the next day to meet pa up at surabaya then.. BALI HERE I COME! ahh.. island holiday. cannot freaking wait. :D

so. just a random update. life's been good. busy. loved to the point of being spoilt :D the beginnings of stress. sleepy. television commercial script due tomorrow! die. hahah..

till next time. joy to the world. =)

back!

2007-01-21T16:15:00.000+08:00

just a note to say i'm back. in kl. and currently very happy. =D

leaving on a jetplane.

2007-01-15T11:57:00.000+08:00

all my bags are packed, i'm ready to go..

leaving in an hour's time. happy and sad. pretty effed up hahah. see you peeps in kl! mwahs.

mood: very happy.

2007-01-11T23:45:00.000+08:00

okay altho it's already been a few days since debs told me, but just the thought's enough to cheer me up again: deb will be around when i go over to surabaya next month! heheh.. yay i'm so glad. i got so depressed when i found out she wont be there when i am, but it seems there's been an amazing change of plans. so yayyyy! =) it's been far too long. craziness will be reunited once more. *wide grin. surabaya will go down. =D cant wait!

AAAND a VERRYY HAPPY BDAY to my chiamie dahlings! woman, WOMAN. haha.. 20-yr-old woman. i've just realized that, soon, we'd be in the category that'd hate their age to be known lol.. but for now still oklar hoh =D and i still feel so bad for calling two hours late laa =( i really thought you were back in LA already! argh. haihhh but anyhows. i really hope you have a super birthday dahlings.. if only you're here for us to celebrate this time around..

caught up with eva yesterday in parkson. parkson! miri really has nowhere to go already lah.. haha.. but it's good that some things never change. had a good bitching session HAHA then went for night at the museum. weeell. i wouldnt say it's a great movie, nor would i say it's a completely horrible movie either. it was just like that. haha.. overall pretty alright light entertainment lah. and it had my owen wilson in it, so yeah. hehe ;)

and now i'm in with the dum dum gum gum hype.

you dum dum! =D

blah.

2007-01-09T13:55:00.000+08:00

okay that's one problem settled. called mr kok the agent who manages our apartment unit and all he keeps saying is 'i'll talk to the owner i'll talk to the owner'. o_O aihh whatever lah. at least i called him. one worry off my list; for today at least.

been pretty dilemma-ed lately.. stuff.. another blast from the past.. then there's the whole cant wait to get back to kl thing but dont wanna leave home too..

haihs. been one confused bugger recently. needing cheer-up therapy bad.

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walk away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone

Cannot dream, cannot share
Sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel
Must pretend its over
Must be brave and we must go on
Must not say
What we've known all along
- Joy Enriquez, How Can I Not Love You

just.. stuff.

2007-01-06T23:57:00.000+08:00

"listen to me; it's you, and me now. this isnt my world anymore.

you're my world."

- michael vartan as kevin in monster-in-law.

*melts. hahah. a chick flick for a bad day. perfect. now if he'd just say that to me instead of j.lo. =D

'happy' new year?

2007-01-06T14:33:00.000+08:00

it's like that malay peribahasa from back in school; 'sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga'. the one we used to always use in essays coz it was the easiest to remember - not forgetting the fact that bad luck's more fun to make up than trying to come up with realistic good stuff.

sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga. i'm living the essay. it all began when i found out yesterday that deja vu isnt showing in miri anymore. fine lah, that wasnt too bad actually. it's not like i wont be able to watch it at all anymore. next.. the results finally arrived in the mail (dont ask me why the 'most creative and innovative' uni in malaysia doesnt have their results posted online; for that you're gonna hafta look for the main star of planet of the apes himself). after that, i get a call reminding me of that issue with my apartment in puchong i havent settled. o_O *frusfrusfrus to the max.

of course, idealistic 'run-away from problems' joanne keeps reminding me that hey, it could have been A LOT worse. but the other joanne: the realist, worrywart half.. well she's just standing there with arms crossed saying that it may be a lot worse, but it's not like it's not bad enough not to warrant proper worrying. celaka giving me so many 'nots'. damn load of negativity ah this one.

hence.. i'm back to worrying. results first of all. to tell the truth they're actually fine; but the one module i really wanna make it the most.. that's the one that's worrying me now. tasha calls it 'unfairly graded' coz well.. we're all in the same boat in this. but then. i just cant seem to not take it too personally.

a grade's a testament to show how well you're doing - well. to me it is anyway. and this grade.. to say the least, it's pretty much got me crushed. i've never been pretty high up there on the confidence scale, and now.. whatever belief i've actually managed to dig up deep inside about what i can do.. whatever little 'skills' i have.. they've all just gone back down the drain again. pretty depressing. i've finally found something i believeD i could at least learn to do well in, and now it feels like i can never be good enough. [now dont argue with me here. let me have my emo moment.] but the thing is.. it's true. agh. totally in the pits now.

and to make things worse.. i called shinki my housemate up yesterday too. okay, that's not the bad thing lah. the problem that we were discussing about was. our last housemate ran out on us a month ago, leaving us to pay for excess utility bills. but fine. that's not too bad.. the bad thing is.. our contract on that unit's till february, and there's no way we can cover paying for the whole unit even for one month! somemore our place is (absurdly) the one with the highest rent in vista prima: rm1200/month for whole unit. wtf. to make matters worse, that last housemate used her own furniture in her room last semester, and now that she's gone, she's taken them with her - leaving that room bare. and shinki and i now gotta deal not only with getting a new housemate, but also one that would actually get an almost empty room for rm400!

*tears. i dont know what to do.. i swear. happy joanne's going 'no need to worry laa.. like usual, just dont think about it for a while and all your worries would be gone..' and i'm so tempted. but i cant. this is too big an issue to ignore..

oh fuck.

and while typing this another thought just occured to me. i've already been dying to get to that rain concert.. and now that i probably have to cover for this month's empty-room rent.. there's no way in this world i'm ever gonna get there now.

great lah.

what a perfect way to start off a new year.

2006 in reflection. [late submission.]

2007-01-05T18:17:00.000+08:00

this is a long-overdue new year's eve retrospection post.. which confirms the fact that yet another new year's resolution from last year didnt make it: the one where i said i'd stop procrastinating.

so, about five days late, here i am. another year's come and passed. feeling a bit older loh, honestly. gonne be hitting the big 2-0's in three months and six days. o_O three months and six days left of being able to get excused for immaturity! ohno. =(

2006.

god. i really dont know where to start. right now all i'm feeling is that the year passed too fast; and everything that happened.. it was as if they were meant to happen like how they did. like it was all part of the plan. i dont quite know how to put it into words (i swear, my english has been slowly getting out of whack too) but yeah. to put it simply, it's like it was all meant to be.

so. the routine highlights of the year.

this time last year, i was still doing that stint in cnbc asia. just this morning i was channel surfing and happened across the market watch and i went all nostalgic. the days of piecing together bits of the morning news with my producer adeline for the afternoon mobile-on-demand section. waching dr yeo editing on awesome AVID that i would so love to get my hands on.. *sigh.

last glance back before stepping into the lift.
inset: workstation in the distribution office.

and a year later here i am no better than a bum on his lousiest day. then again, i asked for it. heheh.. promised myself to have this last bum holiday before everything ahead. before LIFE. i know i wont have time like this in the future to waste anymore, which is why i decided to use this time to be back home just chilling my dearest and closest. after this, it'd be back to uni.. then perth.. then possibly work. eeks. i know i wont have a chance like this anymore.. so this is perfect for now. altho i know i keep complaining! haha.. but yeah. i digress. that bit of work in cnbc was great; and it's making me long for so much more! cantwaitcantwait.

THEN. darling debs came all the way from indo to miri and we met up in kuching as i was returning home on transit from singapore. it was SO GOOD to see her again and i swear, i've never had a shorter plane ride! hahah.. catching up on all those missed months.. then bringing debs around miri with chiamie.. having rojak and chendol.. super cheese prawn.. tiramisu cake at marriott! heehee. good times spent just chilling.

agh i fckn miss these two crazy women. =(

february came.. back to uni. moved into c-09-05. started my first sem in masscomm degree. late nights with my room door open while the three fashion designers work away into the night.. korean dramas on ntv7 and 8tv.. awesome surprise bday party that chiamie dahlings masterminded *sniff.

cake-faced by tracy. eeks. haha..

i'm still so touched. *tears. OH and the HAIR INCIDENT! woman i dont know if you still remember it HAHA.. if you dont, ask me later and i shall enlighten you. involved hair+curler+many hours. heehee.

mid year. singapore with the family + one kevin lee!

with the two other fuggers.

haha.. then back home bumming on tv, tennis, and losing in ps2 winning eleven o_O kevin scored against me with his GOALIE. wtf. good memories man.. haha. then it was all good.. till chiamie left for texas. =( i've lost my boy-scouting partner, my dahlings, my kepo kaki all at once. i lose someone every semester; and yet there i was thinking i wouldnt be the last to leave. chiamie if you're reading this: I MISS YOU TRUCKLOADS. *tears.

come back come back we go watch rain! =(

then it was back to uni once more.. prima felt so different; so quiet. life just wasnt the same.. but added new 'chi mui' shinki heheh.. new kaki kdrama and rubbishtalk. also more adventures with the girls ie. driving to kl without getting lost and navigating thru all of petaling jaya and kelana jaya! haha.. 'starring' in our first feature film, sumolah. HAHA. funfairs and plays and k-sessions.. shootings and editings ohgod. jiwang sleepovers and bak kut teh and italiannie's. =D hahah.. thinking of it now, i so cant wait to get back. more fun times to come in the year ahead!

missing the retards.

hehe.. but that wasnt all. the best was yet to come, altho it was so late into the semester.. i got to know the nicest, sweetest, most awesome person ever: sajith! haha.. it's crazy. it's not something i can quite put into words, even if my english wasnt out of whack haha. switchfoot's 'you', the soundtrack of 'a lot like love'. lol. the most random things. my twin. =) see i'm even beginning to babble incoherently already.. so yeah. definitely not something i can explain heh. it all happened so late, but well then.. i've always liked saving the best for last anyway =)

sooooo.. the year finally closed on new year's eve with high school sweets over dinner and ushering in the new year with the oldest best friend. perfect. i love you woman. thanks for being there for me thru everything. now.. if you'd only get your ass to kl! heheheheh.. =)

so there ya go. my 2006 in a nutshell.

to say i've grown up this year.. well. i'm not too sure of that. maybe i did, but it's not something too obvious, compared to all the new experiences in 2005 and all that. this year definitely did something, but i guess it's more to the way i have begun thinking than anything else. my perception of things, how i understand things around me.. just that point in life where you realize you may have probably matured - altho DUH! i still dont act it. hehe..

so. here's to everyone out there:

may you all have an awesome year ahead; and accomplish all that you set out to do. huGs to all!

hrms. pretty short post eh this time? heheh.. see you next year!

jingle bells..

2006-12-25T20:02:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

may everyone have a blessed christmas this year filled with loooveee and joy! heehee. =)

it's been an awesome christmas this year.. the only thing missing was pa who had to celebrate far far away in indonesia =( it's also my first christmas back home since.. i dont know. so many years! haha.. the past few years we've always had it in singapore.

ohh.. what made it even more awesome was kevin coming back!! hahah.. bloody hell. imagine waking up all blur from sinus attacks and all.. then few minutes later auntie audrey came over with kevin! hahah.. the fugger arrived the night before and no one knew! so that was the present auntie was bringing for mie hahah.. and mie actually thought it'd be auntie's fab chocolate cake. o.O HAHA. yay the little kid is baaack =)

so yeah.. been indulging in a lot of shopping lately. i've just realized that miri may not be super in terms of shopping.. but if you just knew where to look and how, you've got it made. hehe.. it's literally been christmas everyday for me for the past few days lol.

three more weeks till kl! *big grin. but i know i'm gonna miss my bumming days here.. it's the last bum-holiday i'd have! *sigh. much as i complain how bored i am and all.. i'm gonna miss it. =( and yet, i cant wait to get back! hahah.. shite there i go again with my contradictions. eep. time to sign off then hahah.

laters!

ps. deja vu is screening in star cineplex! who wants to go let me know asap! hahah..

off to bekenu!

2006-12-22T14:30:00.000+08:00

22nd dec. apparently it's some chinese festival thing today called 'tang yuan' or sth like that? haha i have no idea.. i just know that this time every year, we get to eat rice balls! yay! haha.. there's some meaning behind all of it also la but i dont exactly know what either..

so this morning i helped auntie jenny with making the yuans - balls made out of rice flour. =) top left are the uncooked little balls; right after being rolled into shape.. then right and bottom left are among the ways to have 'em: either rolled in loads of crushed peanuts (*yuM my fave) or in sweet ginger soup.

heheh.. which is why later in the evening we're off to bekenu for dinner with the big family. =D yummy dinner awaits tonight. heehee. will only be back tomorrow morning, so everyone have a great celebration! =)

bad?

2006-12-21T09:56:00.000+08:00

warning: super-long babbling ahead.

not good.

okay so the thing is, i caught it yesterday together with the ngiauchi po and zhan wei. i've already heard it was pretty bad; but since that review came from someone who's already read the book, i presumed it's probably coz reading the book first always spoils it for the movie (i have never seen a perfect adaptation). so, never having read the book myself, i went on in and tried to enjoy myself.

bloody disappointing. not in adaptation terms, since i probably have no say in that.. but as a movie in general? just plain bad. okay, fine, maybe we should give stefen fangmeier as much credit as he deserves since it is his first movie after all.. but even so! to put it simply.. let's just say i was glad i watched it on movie day where tickets only cost rm5.

in general, the film leaves a lot to be desired. okay, maybe i am a tad fussy in deciding my kinda fave movies coz i'm a stickler for perfection in terms of pictures and plot development and all that shite.. and i have pretty extreme tastes at times.. but this. really. it's just too much.

picture-wise.. o_O a lot of unnecessary shots. wasting a lot of time there when they could've gone for plot development instead. i especially hated the scenes with eragon and brom riding towards the varden. so-fckn-many shots of just them riding! the only difference between those shots were just different angles.. what's more, different angles of more or less the same environment! wtf. if you're trying to show a super long journey through many places, show la those different places! all that could be seen were mountains and grass plains that pretty much looked similar. i mean, to any ordinary moviegoer, you'd just think it's all about the same thing. oh, and not forgetting the fact that it looks a lot like lotr, but a superbly bad copy. that aerial wraparound shot of the riders on the horses especially.. and that's only my view of those shots. apparently the whole movie has been perceived of as that too. see here.

in terms of story.. i have nothing to say. it's just very disappointing.. coz i think it could have been SO much better. once again, unnecessary shots.. some not even needed to enhance the story; while the ones that are actually needed they either didnt put in or made it faster. to put it simply, the whole thing just looks very rushed. like a bad case of editing last minute and just dumping whatever you got in it.. and only after submitting your work you realize how much better you could've made it. haha..

however, i didnt hate the whole thing lah.. to give the film due, i think the visual effects are pretty awesome for such a crappy film. but then again, maybe i'm not a visual effects expert (nor do i claim i am one in the other fields too lah, i just happen to prefer certain aspects in those fields so if those aspects arent fulfilled, in my own very personal view, it sucks). so, as an ordinary visual effects watcher, i'd say they were pretty good. i mean, come on, from the team who gave us jar jar binks and the one that did all those super stuff for lotr.. i hardly say we should expect anything less hehe.. i might be biased tho coz i'm a fan of weta digital since i saw the making of lotr hehe..

all in all? bad. only visual effects was okay. haha.. my personal view is that that was probably the part that director fangmeier focused on more since he was, after all, previously visual effects director for films like saving private ryan and lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events. heheh..

so.. what i think is.. if you really wanna learn tips on what not to put in a film, watch this one. i know that's a pretty bold statement for me to make, but i really think so! you dont have to be a film expert to know it.. all you have to do is just watch and you'll realise.

haha fck. i'm so mean. i just hope karma wont come back at me where my films in the future (that's me crossing my fingers and praying really hard i might even do those) would turn out as bad, if not worse. ehehe.. so maybe i shall just stop here with the dissing.

anyway.. christmas is around the corner. i want either this..

or any of the others in the series. there's also 'create', 'pause', 'begin', 'dream', and 'think'. now, tell me. who wouldnt want 'em?! ehehehe..

chicken cheeeeseeeee..

2006-12-19T01:36:00.000+08:00

i am currently having a fckn insane craving for ramly chicken cheese burgers.

i wish i was back in prima.

and no, luckily for you i do not have a picture of the burger.. but. just imagining the yummy taste.. the gooey cheese oozing outta the sides.. i think there's some form of dadah or other in those burgers, i swear.

aghh i'm killing myself!

this and that.

2006-12-18T23:01:00.000+08:00

okay that's it. it's been officially one whole month of crazy bumming around not doing anything productive. today onwards, i shall make myself more useful. yes. that i shall. =)

beginning with lepaking sessions first! haha.. plus the ngiauchi po's back so there'll be plenty to ngiauchi about..

but first of all..

CONGRATS TO THE S'WAK TENNIS TEAM!

hehe defending champions held their title again for the borneo games in brunei this year. baby bro just got home yesterday; won all his matches. *sniff. so proud of him. he's sucha big boyy alreadyyy *bawls my eyes out* i cannot believeeee it. haha.. too bad i didnt watch him playing this time though haihh.. but well. a job well done to the team once again though! hehe..

finished editing a rough copy of my tennis clip. i dont like it. need to make more changes.. might be using it for the development programme. eep. well at least i've SOMETHING to keep me busy hehe..

and i've moved my workstation to my room. officially. hopefully this'll help me work more haha.. and i've just realized how many gadgets i've accumulated over time o_O but that's not the scary thing. the scary thing is - how much i've grown to be so dependent on them! heh.

lovingloving adidas. loving their ad. it's so cute and happy. made my day. =)

idiota. =)

2006-12-16T13:32:00.000+08:00

remember the idiot who bought a firewire cable for her baby handycam only to realize that her laptop doesnt have a port? well. it turns out that she's an even bigger idiot.

i swear. i dont know why i didnt check below my card reader. which was why when i got the cable, i KNEW i've seen a firewire port SOMEWHERE. haha.. i just forgot where. idiot.

been busy capturing my rushes all morning and editing them on whatever slow memory i've got on my laptop. but still. it's better than nothing! hehe.. although i do admit, finalcut pro seems to work better for me. maybe i'm just not so used to premiere pro yet, but well. there's just odd functions missing here and there and it's not as user-friendly as finalcut. hehe.. but maybe that's just me. =) i miss my ftv15 mac and finalcut pro..

the rushes i captured was for the mini-tennis weekend held at the tennis centre last weekend; where i was the 'unofficial' photographer and cameraman for this bunch of people:

upcoming miri tennis stars! hehe.. =)

so.. other than that.. went and chilled at taman selera with the cousins too! havent been there since i got back and i finally got to have my lak bi th'ng! heehee. it's as good as ever.. polished up two glasses. o_O haha.

once again.. home's still the best place to be. =) i can never, i repeat, NEVER get bored with this view..

my heaven on earth. =)

and on a final, completely different note, my baby brother's sixteen years and a day old today!

HAPPY *belated* 16TH BIRTHDAY BUGGER!!

one's the face he's always giving me; and the other is when he's being nice.. no prizes for guessing which is which. hehe.. too bad he's all the way in brunei tho for the borneo games =( so we cudnt celebrate his bday yesterday together.. i've been bugging auntie jenny all week to go too and we were SUPPOSED to go today but because of my stupid sinus attacks last night, trip canceled. *depressed. ohwells. guess i'll just have wait for tomorrow to continue bugging him again then. *lights up. heehee.

deja vu.

2006-12-09T11:13:00.000+08:00

tony scott + jerry bruckheimer + denzel washington = the one movie i cant wait to watch at the moment..

just seen another preview on hbo.. and it looks promising. i doubt i'll be disappointed; havent not liked any film by scott or bruckheimer yet. and denzel's an added plus too! hehe.. i'm just looking forward to seeing how they'll be pulling off the story development; deja vu - how's scott gonna tell it? the trailer made it look pretty far-fetched what with the whole looking back four days in time thing going on.. plot development'll have to be tight; 'else it's gonna look weird. however, i already know that the cinematography's gonna be perfect - it is bruckheimer after all. my kinda pretty pictures. heehee. arghhh cantwaitcantwait!

...

just checked Cinema Online..

and MIRI ISNT SCREENING IT!

...

i'm in shock.

*sinks into depression.

wth.

i've been waiting since.. forever. okayokay fine. not forever la. but at least months ago ever since i first saw the trailer.

i wanna watch it in its pure majestic glory; with proper surround sound and hugeass screen (okay not that miri's star cineplexes have THAT big screens lah..) but well. that's not the point here. and i'm afraid my poor little speakers just wont do it justice. plus, i'm not too keen on the idea of waiting forever for a clear dvd rip online.. *tears.

damn.

how come kuching's star cineplex is airing it while miri isnt?! pretty effed up wey. =(

plea?

2006-12-07T23:01:00.000+08:00

my darling rain.

i wanna be watching his concert in kl next month.

but i dont know if i can.

*tears.

anyone willing to be my kaki to go with me? i've yet to find out the actual price of the tickets in kl. it's gonna be in bukit jalil.

*sad face.

anyone?

retrospection.

2006-12-04T01:18:00.000+08:00

time - they say it changes a lot of things. i guess that's true. and i know just as well as anyone else that those changes may have been for the better or worse depending on how we look at it..

all this time the memories have stayed; i cherished them so much altho they were the ones causing all the pain. the whys and the what ifs.. the scar's there - deep. but it's healing, slowly but sure. for three years it's stayed, now it's finally going. i will always remember, i wont ever forget..

if i could, i'd wait forever. as long as it takes.. but i know i cant, coz you no longer exist. the one i used to know is no longer here. all i am waiting for now is just a figment of imagination, a memory of who you used to be..

which is why i just feel this need to mark the closing of this chapter. a chapter with a story that lasted for such a short while but has left such a deep mark. one that hurt for at least three years after it ended.

so here's a tribute to a memory; a little something i still have from before:

tugging hard at the heart
this empty longing inside
wandering aimlessly
hoping so earnestly
for you

two and a half years
pretending i didnt care
hurting so much
this longing as such
for you

i thought i'd let go
i believed i was happy
living without you
without thoughts of us two
still i dream of you

yearning so badly
for something i shouldnt
existing in memories
making up my own stories
still i dream of you

but alas, it's hopeless
no fairytale ending
walking on by
in this big lie
in memories of you

i pray that you're happy
that she makes you smile
like how i used to
when it was us two
in memories of you

a big part of me gone
lost forever with you
i try to let go
yet i'm feeling so low
living without you

i miss you so much
wish circumstances've changed
but we've chosen this path
of a life that's so tough
living without you

(c) eleven 290406

there. it's been exactly three years and a week. life goes on. memories stay memories, not to be turned into hopes and fantasies.

i bid thee farewell, and good luck!

home: chocolate chip cookies, laksa and mice. o_O

2006-12-02T12:45:00.000+08:00

kitchens at home are always the best.

just had auntie jenny's super laksa for breakfast; i swear, there is not other like it. =D and now it's choc chip cookies on the way.. agh.. this calls for more tennis! heheh.. lol.

so anyway. after weeks of dying without a mouse and not being able to do any work at all, i finally got one at the indoor stadium pc fair yesterday. couldnt find any i really liked so i just settled for the one that resembled my old trusty sony the most; black and transparent plastic. came home, plugged it in, and just STARED. i mean, the thing was blinking all colours of the rainbow! hyper one, this one. hahah.. my new baby's just ecstatic and looking forward to many fun times ahead. =)

ohgod. the holidays has reduced me to talking crap already. i mean, not that i dont already do that 24/7, but well. it's just a lot worse now HAHA.

had a long talk with auntie jenny over breakfast this morning.. god i missed being home so much. woke up with the bugger bugging. heheh.. this is THE LIFE, babes. just chilling and being at home, filled with love - now that's what i call holidays ;) happy happy.

*edit. i do realize my posts are getting more pointless each day. o_O i dont know how to write anymore! eep. help.

random - just me.

2006-11-30T14:26:00.000+08:00

two weeks of hols - i'm getting used to bumming; i wonder if i'll ever get up again?

everyday just doing nothing productive.
>> the firewire cant be used (the stupid idiot writing this wasnt smart enough to realize that ohno her laptop didnt actually have a firewire PORT. bloody hell.) so there goes all the work i was planning.
>> the same idiot feels too lazy to work either; so yeah.
>> plenty of mails and msgs to reply - but again, still bumming and lazy to do anything.

luckily i've my baby guitar, 'else i'd die.

hahah okaylarrr actually it's not too bad. getting better lah. eva just got back, chan's due to come back in two weeks, char's in three weeks.. so yeah all's good. but then i think of all there is to do in miri nowadays and i'm all O_O. i need an island holiday! hahah okay yah i know that was random.

so i'll be getting back to kl on jan 15th; flight's confirmed. first time i'm booking the flight so early ey haha.. going back to see my twin, spend time with tasha before she leaves for perth (*sniff) and just play before classes start! hehe.. coz knowing limkokwing, real classes prolly wont start till about two weeks after registration.

anyone looking for me now; i'm at home for the most part of the day and at the tennis court (as usual) in the evenings. =) i havent been driving much either - i guess the novelty of driving just kinda wore off. heheh..

aiii i'm bored. my brain's just not functioning. i dont know what to say. i'm just blogging now for the sake of blogging. -_- ohno i have no life! holidays = rotten brain cells. dammit. i'm incoherent.

i wanna watch home of the brave. =)

feel like a new blog layout (i know i've been saying this for ages! but obviously never done it hehe..) but i'm so lazy la. and i dont like how my blog looks with firefox. or maybe it's just the widescreen making it weird.. but still. haih.

aku bosan la! restless. =)

haha.

2006-11-28T23:50:00.000+08:00

found something really cute today:

to love is to suffer. to avoid suffering one must not love. but then one suffers from not loving. therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. to suffer is to suffer. to be happy is to love. to be happy then is to suffer. but suffering makes one unhappy. therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. i hope you're getting this down.
- woody allen.

food for thought.

blah.

2006-11-26T01:00:00.000+08:00

i havent blogged in so long that this feels supremely weird.

updates:
- monkee is no more. it's so depressing, in a way.
- i'm home.
- i'm bumming like crazy.
- i got my baby handycam.
- i finally got wireless at home.
- i miss prima.
- i'm missing my newfound long-lost twin.
- i dont know how to blog anymore.

there.

i think that's it for now. prolly will update more in the future. hahah. this is such a sad post. till then!

stuck in perpetual lala-land.

2006-11-07T21:24:00.000+08:00

my mind's numb - more like, it's not there. it's gone far away on holiday, leaving me physically stuck here in puchong weighed down with assignments while it's enjoying itself having good food and dreaming of certain primates.

haha.. holiday mood's been going on since the bloody raya break. so potong stim lah, give holidays then suddenly have to come back to uni for a few more weeks of work. final assignments somemore. eep. and i cant bloody well think coz my mind and heart's already in miri!

meanwhile, i long for the day i can finally call 'it's a wrap' and REALLY mean it. when that day comes, i know i'll have graduated from amateur filmmaking haha.. we're gonna have to reshoot tomorrow for our final production coz our previous two 'wraps' just werent wrapped up enough. this morning was stressful, but now i think we've finally got things under control.. so cant wait for shooting tomorrow. =) think we can salvage our work.

on another note, God bless whoever came up with the internet and handphones. i would worship them, but too bad for them that spot's long taken and forever to stay. i mean, seriously. what would we do without technology? haha.. it is so useful and such a great communication tool. *snickers.

i'm currently living in bliss. oh, the joy. =)

ode to monkee.

2006-11-07T00:57:00.000+08:00

you've put a smile on my face
a spring in my steps
a shine in my eyes
a contented sigh

you clear out dark clouds
that's been there too long
casting new light
on long lonely nights

you need not do much
i'm grateful enough
i'm happy with this
though i wont mind a kiss (HAHA.)

my days have been lighter
cheerier and happier
since you came along
despair's been long gone

i wake with new life
a fresh breath of air
i barely even know you
yet i feel like i do

i've gotten so much more
than i've dared to expect
feeling so happy now
words just cant explain how

this smile is still here
i cant get it off
now what have you done?
why is all this so fun?

drowning in sweets
i cant take no more
someone please slap me
before i go crazy

ohgod i sound demented
i know that i am
words come out so weird
it's as though i'm hotwired

okay i've to stop now
my rhyme's never been good
but now it's sure far worse
yet it's not a first

eep! somebody help!
okay i'll shut up now
so, monkee i thank you
for just being you!

haha ohgod i'm lame
but i cant seem to stop
i've been on a high
since you replied 'hi'

like a silly lil schoolgirl
innocent and naive
having her first crush
with her heart turned to mush

like watching a chick flick
the kind you go 'awww'
i dont need an ending
coz this is enough

oops now that didnt rhyme
but somehow it seemed right
whateverlah i dont care
i wont have more to say

alright then i'll cabut
so people take care
life is just beautiful
now, dont you agree?
heehee.
monkee.
whee.

anything for a bed.

2006-10-21T18:50:00.000+08:00

having a short blog quickie right now. =)

am currently at i0i puchong's starbucks waiting for lenny to finish gym coz i'm too beat to follow her. sleepy as hell. would probably roll off the treadmill or something haha.

i'm so tired, but i guess it's just lack of sleep. didnt have too much to drink last night unlike almost everyone else who were gone by 0600am haha.. it's so fun layan-ing people talk nonsense sometimes. after lepaking at midvalley with everyone else for darling michele's bday, everyone came over to my place to chill out. well, almost everyone lah.

so i'll be MIA beginning tomorrow coz i'll be off to ipoh with lenny. then it's raya visitings.. and.. and.. agh. getting an essay and report over with so there'll be plenty of time for our final production.

i'll be off now then. my java chip frappe's been long gone and i think lenny's almost done. but daymn. i'm still so sleepy.. *yawns. -_- gnitez.

work never ends.

2006-10-11T23:16:00.001+08:00

shooting board done for today.. but i still dont feel any more relieved. continuity assignment due next week; gotta start filming soon in order to finish editing at least by wednesday. presentation tomorrow.. agh! photography at least all done, major thanks to jas's dslr (i effing want one! my trusty slr's great and all that, but it just doesnt beat digital lahhh..). got back our critical analysis paper today - didnt do too bad actually but i'm not happy with it. =( smart lah, procrastinate some more. arsewhole.

today has SO not been my day.. but i'll definitely feel much better tomorrow AFTER presentation and when we finally begin filming. whee.. BUT. big problem. havent had any ideas for our story yet. road safety ahhh.. got lah small small idea-idea here and there, but everything's just been stupid and not good enough. big super idea come quick! dont want another screw-up like the soundscape.. not that it was actually that bad, but somehow it just didnt seem good enough either. agh. think think think..

...

my thoughts keep straying to food.

somehow.

time to fix dinner. then it's back to presentation preparation! what fun.

oh and by the way,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE STARIO!

the man still seems like a boy though. are you sure it's 22? ahaha =p have a good one. *cheers.

love is expensive and free.

2006-10-10T21:29:00.000+08:00

i seem to enjoy subjecting myself to endless suffering - ie. going through old photographs and getting myself all homesick. i hate public holidays where there just seems to be too much time then i'd keep thinking 'later.. later..' for assignments and end up spending the whole day not doing anything productive except eating and sleeping. then i'd spend the rest of the time that i'm supposed to be doing my malaysian studies essay on going through folders of photographs and videos. o_O

auntie jenny would slaughter me alive if she knew i'm putting a picture of her on my blog. maybe i should tell her, just for kicks. haha. i can just imagine a phone call immediately: 'why you go put such an ugly picture of me online???'. that's what auntie jenny thinks of ALL the pictures i have of her. i personally think they're all adorable. not to mention hot. aghhh why didnt i get the good genes? the bugger seems to have gotten the best from both sides of the gene pool. -_- i want hot too. haha..

this year's mooncake festival was SUPER laid back compared to last year. last year's whole big potluck dinner party thing.. complete with lanterns round the house and mooncakes for everyone. lantern walks and lantern burns..

this year, yummy manhattan fish market dinner with eva in sunway!

not as meriah, but the company's still super. not only great catching up time, we even had edison chen having dinner next to us! haha. i swear, that dude's face.. no one can possibly look more like edison than him. then he stood up and everything just went poof! - guess fantasies are just meant to be fantasies. *sigh. =)

having so much fun's just as well, but now i'm broke. i seem to be broke a lot. or at least, i feel it lah. then again, better to feel broke and spend less than to feel not broke and overspend, right? haha. theory of my life. my current life, that is. only until i start earning my own moolah =D

love is expensive and free. i believe that. i've always loved that song. makes so much sense. i love love. i miss home.

tennis weekend.

2006-08-27T22:36:00.000+08:00

finally back from jalan duta - and already i am missing everyone so very much. *tears. i doubt i'll be able to see anyone i left there in the next couple of months, or even in the coming year (with, of course, the exception of mie and ivan - i'd HAVE to see them by at least end of this year - and probably aldrin and rem).

needless to say, i fucking hate farewells. they make me so sad.

*sniff.

i had so much fun even though i didnt even do anything at all. yeah i know, pardon the contradiction but it really is true. it was fun just watching the bugger play.. it was fun just hanging around the ntc all day long.. it was fun just being able to kacau auntie jenny and catch up.. it was fun just being with everyone else.. it was fun playing with the lil kids.. these are probably not most people's idea of fun but they really are - to me.

sigh okay i am not going to get depressed. but i am sorely going to miss all these tennis compts.. hopefully this isnt the last.

there. ivan the bugger ended his tour this year with playing till quarters for both his singles and doubles. and thus ends my heart attack sessions too haha..

...

i'm missing everyone and everything!

maybe i shall just blog when i'm more emotionally stable. -_-

commercial break!

2006-08-22T22:57:00.000+08:00

i just remembered something i saw together with the monkeys in kuching about a month back.

we were watching pirates of the carribean: dead man's chest at the riverside cineplex (okay, i kinda forgot the name coz i only know that the other one's star cineplex, but yeah. there's only two cineplexes in kuching and this one isnt star). so there we were, enjoying the film with our popcorn and all, when suddenly, halfway thru the film..

wtf?

ahaha i dont know if it's a biasa thing for cineplexes coz i admit, i havent been to all of 'em yet. i only frequent star (miri's one and only), gsc and tgv. but damn. this one was just funny lah.

what's more, it wasnt even a commercial break. it was apparently just a toilet break of some sort - showing that interval sign onscreen and playing malay music. two minutes later, the film came back on.

...

i have to admit, that was cute though. maybe they wanted us to stretch or something; not get couch-potato syndrome. =)

ohwells. at least it's back to kl now with gsc and tgv. =) and no, i dont love cat city any less.

birthdays!

2006-08-21T22:31:00.000+08:00

celebrated the august babies' bdays in the plaza this afternoon - veesa, sarah and shaq - to yummielicious chocolate indulgence from secret recipe.. *licks lips. yum. hehe..

veesa, sarah & shaq.

happy birthdays!! and belated too. =) huGs.

group pic!

no class today but suddenly had tutorials for studio photography with simon. my subject? the chair.

haha nolah was just testing the lighting and all.. cant wait for real studio photography to begin. anyone with ideas for my model?

i've been reading up language, discourses and other shite for the past few days that i swear i'm going nutters soon. the only good thing that's come out of it is that at least now foucault's starting to make more sense. not so stupid anymore ey?

hrmf i've been feeling oddly tired though lately. maybe i'm just restless. i wanna do something! auntie jenny and ivan yong come quickly!

daymn. this looks like some rushed note. lol. might as well just have a board and stick post-its then voila!, insta-blog.

okay never mind. still have more readings to do.

of foucault and cows.

2006-08-20T21:30:00.000+08:00

theorists are a whole bunch of weird people. sure, theories help the masses understand more about a particular area/subject/topic but why oh why do they have to beat about the bush explaining something simple? it gives people headaches lah. -_- plus, no need to make it so freaking deep.

okay, i AM very pissed right now with the amount of reading i have to do for my classes - all of which involve theories of some kind or the other. wtf. my poor mind's all screwed up with instances of understanding one point only to find out in the next paragraph that that point doesnt make sense anymore. critical thinking my ass.

fine, i admit that it's probably coz it's such a beautifully lazy sunday evening and i just cant bring myself to make the effort to delve into deep stuff right now. not only am i feeling ultra lazy today, ultra stupid's also been around for quite a while.

*sigh.

think happy thoughts think happy thoughts think happy thoughts.

...

my saxophone version of moon river's been playing on the loop and it's having a more calming effect than i thought. beautiful. i miss my baby sax. somebody please bring me to a jazz club soon!! i need to get out of saussure, volosinov and foucault's theories before i go cuckoo.

daymn.

good thing that auntie jenny and the bugger's coming on thursday. i need another break real soon. missing them so much! a whole weekend of tennis, heart attacks (from supporting) and chilling with the family at the ntc (national tennis centre). now that's what i call fun.

okay back to foucault now. took a longer break than intended. =D was having dinner/watching midnight cowboy between blogging. ta!

edit: making a big deal out of a simple matter's plain annoying. foucault's really getting on my nerves.

friggin' cows sleeping on the junction to desaria after we finished shoot the other night. good thing h-theing's is a myvi so at least could squeeze through one corner. wouldnt wanna wake the cows up haha..

sunshine thru windows..

2006-08-19T12:35:00.000+08:00

i didnt exactly wake up to a bright saturday morning with sunlight streaming in thru my windows this morning - probably coz i woke up early. somehow i've gotten accustomed to the fact that the sun only streams in beautifully thru windows quite late in the morning over this side of the country. or maybe it's because i'm staying on the ninth floor and it takes a while for the sun to get up? it could possibly be the bloody haze that's taken over kl again though. i'm not too sure. whatever it is, i did get my wish at about 1000+am. =D

it was just too beautiful to stay in. felt like playing tennis so bad but i've no kakis over here.. not forgetting the stoopid fact that it's so hard for me to find courts nearby. -_-

today's the first time since i got back to kl that i've got a whole day to myself. been so busy the past two weeks with the shoot and classes and hanging out with the girls that i havent even had time to settle down properly and just chill. sometimes it's good to just laze around.. =) i'm such a homebody. lovin' it though.

here i am now sitting by my desk getting a start on my readings for one of my classes. as usual, my thoughts keep straying. ahaha.. no big deal already by now. "epistemology, semiology.." "relational rather than substantive meanings..". too deep for this early in the morning lah.. gonna need a drill to force everything in. but still, gotta get started somehow~.. here goes nothing.

took this while experimenting with shutter speeds by the limkokwing gallery in klc. looks like ghost town with jas as the main character haha.

sweet depression.

2006-08-18T23:37:00.000+08:00

i have to keep reminding myself that the mojo incident was not a dream. god. it was so sweet and surreal that i keep believing otherwise. somebody please shoot me. i'm obviously caught (once again) in the tight holds of another crush. god i feel like a little high school girl. listening to sappy music isnt really helping. *eep. this has got to stop. but still.. *resumes dreamy smile. a girl can dream, cant she? ;)

on another note, before i drift off into lala-land, the sumolah! shoot was apparently cancelled today. we were pretty disappointed, but hey, i guess these things can get quite unpredictable. however, there's just this feeling that, damn, we're probably gonna miss the last day and god knows when that'll be. plus, i still havent gotten my picture with afdlin and gavin! somehow it's just depressing to think of it. -_- dont think dont think.

well now here's something happier to think about though. i met up with darwis today! darwis as in monkey darwis from the days we used to hang with the 16th floor guys back in sem one when all of us were still here - me, chiamie, debs and jess. he still looks as good; and seeing him in uni just reminded me of how much fun it was back then with the prima bunch.. especially the crazy videos we used to make, the at-least-three-times-a-night visit to haikal's mamak, chuzzle on edy's comp aka the public computer, studying and finishing assignments with the rest of the nocturnals on the 16th floor.. ah, sweet sweet nostalgy!

the monkey was back in kl for a few days for his wushu competition, and if i didnt happen to be sitting at makanlah where i was this morning, i would've missed him completely! we caught up, and after he went off, i was left with this odd combination of happy-sad: happy coz i got to see him again yet sad coz he's left. after they graduated last year, i never thought for once that i'd ever see any of the 16th floor bunch ever again - especially not in the very near future. but it was great though. i miss everyone so very much; it's good that i got to feel at least a bit (even only a tiny fraction) of how it used to be again. it was sweet of him to mention too that he was just watching our videos the other day before he came over to kl.. *sniff.

okay now it seems that everything has a depressing touch to it. have to cheer up! was just watching schindler's list, and it isnt helping either. i'm in dire need of another cheesy, sappy romance. the kind where you (fine, me then) would feel all sad and teary, but in the end you know it'll be a happy ending. i havent seen one in ages! wanna watch but i'm broke lah. been going out more than i should lately.. even the pay as an extra in sumolah! isnt helping too much. argh.

being a student sucks - at least in terms of money. dont wanna burden the parents too much, but how'd i find a job in kl that doesnt involve spending at least more than half of my pay on transportation and everything else? staying in puchong (aka the middle of nowhere) sucks too.

to add to the depression, the kebin's leaving soon. wish i was back home today having my mom's sarawak laksa (the BEST IN THE STATE! heehee.) with them this afternoon and playing at least a final tennis match before he leaves..

aduh.

i think i'd better take off now before this post gets any more depressing. i wanna wake up tomorrow to a bright saturday morning with sun streaming in thru my windows and nothing to worry or get depressed about except for thinking of what i'm gonna have to cook for lunch and dinner! yups.

ciao for now then.

edit: i just watched the sem one videos againnn~! memories can never be forgotten.. am currently missing everyone.

the monkey who came back for a day! heehee.

the annoying git has returned once again..

2006-08-18T09:51:00.000+08:00

there ya go. after more than two months of being away on blog-vacation, the annoying owner of this blog who only goes ahaha, ehehe, heehee and forever talks nonsense (not forgetting using the word procrastinate in almost every other post) is back online.

HAHA.

back in puchong, back in vistaprima, back in limkokwing.. back to the life i used to know before the two whole months of bumming and not doing anything in miri. damn that was fun though.

however, on the plus side, i'll be getting my broadband internet most likely by next week so at least i guess i wont be dying so bad in prima anymore.. now that chiam's no more there and all that's left in the house is me and shinki.. =( it's just different.

am blogging on the PCs in uni library now. thank God they upgraded (well to me it's upgraded lah coz i dont like macs) to PCs so now everything's more convenient and the connections are faster. those old macs they used to have here sucked so bad.

so anyway. the beginning of this semester has been the busiest so far. stayed over at h-theing's place so many times in the first week alone (thanks so much dahlings!) and not forgetting the film shooting. oh the film shooting.. *big BIG grin.

afdlin shauki's been doing a film in limkokwing for the past week - his latest movie, 'sumolah!' produced by vision works. the whole of uni's hall of fame has been converted into a sumo dojo. it's damn cool but i have no pics now coz nothing's in my pendrive yet! so all of us took part in becoming extras and it was such fun getting involved in the making of the film. watching how scenes were shot, the hecticness of film&tv.. it's so good actually working in it instead of learning it all that i cant wait to do it now! argh. daymn.

BUT, that's not really the fun part yet. the BEST part's that we got to work with the likes of afdlin, gurmit singh (my dahling chu kang!), gavin yap, patrick teo, and so on lah.. later today's apparently the final day of shoot here but i'm already depressed coz my chu kang isnt here no more. he had to fly off to do some other shoot elsewhere. *sniff. everyone's so funny and it's not only their onscreen personas.. most of downtime when the crew are getting ready the set we're all laughing and enjoying ourselves. this is one experience i'll never forget and am sorely going to miss after it's over..

well then. dont wanna get nostalgic just yet. it's not over yet! hehe. till next time then. shoot's about to start. =)

for more info on Sumolah!, check this out. enjoy!

아자! 아자! 화이팅!

2006-06-06T21:13:00.000+08:00

아자! 아자! 화이팅!

rushing!

2006-05-29T22:52:00.000+08:00

ahaha okay my semester finally ended the moment i submitted my typography assignment this afternoon (thank God susan didnt say anything; so i'll take that as her liking it. heehee). so yay! i am OFFICIALLY FREE!

am rushing this post coz i've gotta go back home soon. my two VIPs in the form of auntie jenny and my darling baby bro of a bugger finally arrived at vista prima this afternoon so they're in my apartment now. ohmygawd home cooked food in vista prima done my very own mommie~.. *drools. i shall always remember the taste. ahahaa..

so yeah. will be going with them to the ntc (national tennis centre) tomorrow coz the bugger has a tournament till prolly this weekend.. so i'm gonna be awol at least from the internet till about then. which is, before i get to singapore lah. wheeee~.

holidays finally here.. singapore soon.. family here.. tennis tournament.. home next week.. fun fun fun.. *sigh. what better combination can there be?

ahaha okaylah. gotta chao. hafta pack pack pack! okies then ppls. have a very happy happy hols! - to those lucky asses (like me!) who's got their hols liao. ahahaaaa =p jk lah. lol. all the best also to all those still having exams aka the a-levels ppl and whoever's having finals! ehehe.. =)

take care and toodles! i'm off for breakk~!! whee i'm getting hyperrr.. =)

tired tired tired..

2006-05-27T21:11:00.000+08:00

i'm so depressed.

had a sinus attack this morning.. which is why i'm stuck here at home right now not being able to do anything while the rest are out celebrating. i hate my NOSE. anyone got a remedy for sinus? i'm open to anything. i'm willing to try ANYTHING just to get it out of the way. arGh. bloody sneezoitis. *sniffles.

the sem is (un)officially over for me. so relieved when i finally submitted the two assignments yesterday for the mci classes. went for almost two days without sleep at all save 20 measley minutes of shuteye while waiting for huay-theing to pick me up so we could go to college. -_-"

however.. am very glad that it's all finally over. yesterday was too tiring for any celebration though. which is whyyyyyy today i'm not supposed to be here now! agh. supposed to be living it up to all the stress of the past few weeks. =(

haihs.

but anyway. got one more last day in college which is just to watch a film and submit my typography. susan (typo lec) seems to like my work. yay. i think i design better on the computer. ahaha i cant draw for two shits. luckily susan likes it lah.. coz i doubt my markers work is gonna help me for my graphic communication unit! =D i made rain look so ugly in my markers portrait. *sigh. ahaha..

so this monday.. we're gonna finish watching the film we did for our take home exam. the buried secret of m. night shyamalan by nathaniel kahn. cant wait cant wait. =) we only seen a small excerpt for the exam. seems good tho. wheee.

ooo well. minus the not being able to go out today part, everything's sort of been in good news lately. but there's EVEN better news, which is:

AUNTIE JENNY AND THE BUGGER ARE COMING TOMORROW NIGHT!

ahaha i'm so excited i feel like a little hyper kid again. i just cant wait. about one month since i last saw them liao which was when i left them at klia to come back to puchong. but i havent seen uncle for almost four months! =( but yay. will be seeing him in about a weeks' time anyway. ehehe..

so actually auntie and ivan are supposed to come on monday night, with kevin and auntie audrey too.. but i guess plans got changed so i really really hope they'll be able to get on the flight tomorrow night. =) yeay.

i'm so tired. this nose of mine's really wearing me off. somebody help.. =(

it's getting late..

2006-05-24T02:06:00.000+08:00

i have been reading instead of doing my work. my best friend's girl, by dorothy koomson, borrowed from chiamie dahlings. great light read; a page-turner from the first page - i had tears in my eyes already. but it was such a DISTRACTION! ahaha..

procrastinate procrastinate procrastinate. it should be made into a sport, seriously. procrastination, i mean. it'd be the world's most popular yet boring sport. popular, coz everyone would be doing it, but boring, coz obviously there'd be no spectators. cmon, who'd be watching a person slowly procrastinate to determine its winner instead of watching something more action-packed like soccer or tennis??

ahahah whaddahell am i saying lol. i'm talking crap coz i'm stressed out. it's late and the 1500word essay that i promised myself i would have done by midnight is still roughly on its 100plus word count. i'm supposed to be adding to that count but here i am blogging and getting hyper coz i've got three assignments due this friday and a moral exam tomorrow which i havent studied at ALL on! well, minus the fact that i've already technically passed moral coz my currently added marks are above the failing grade.. but still. i wanna do good anyway.

aghhh.. how oh HOW do i manage to do this every sem, for almost every assignment, without fail?? effety effing eff. but somehow, i'd manage to get thru every sem. this time, WORRIED LAMF LOHHH! then again, i've always been worried anyway. maybe it'll all turn out good again, as usual? aghh i'm not even talking/writing right right now. stressssss.. i'm such a lazy POS.

(*please do not mind the absurd acronyms that seem to not make any sense. the writer is stressed out MTTMAB and has no definite idea of what the FSOE she is doing)

chiamie's busy studying outside. i cannot take it. i have to do my work. but i caaaanntt.. somebody give me a good spanking.

camera rolls..

2006-05-23T14:36:00.000+08:00

"pain is temporary;
film is forever."
- peter jackson

i've just finished watching yet another part of the lord of the rings extended dvd edition which i've borrowed from jas; promising myself that i'm gonna get all three extended versions for my collection one day. it's so beautiful - and that's all i can really say right now.

still emotionally-wrecked by just watching the makings and all the bittersweet years it took to finish such an amazing film (film[s], if you may, considering that all three films were done at the same time), all i can do now is just sit here in wonder.

tear-soaked tissues are still everywhere on my table. film-making's tough, that's for sure, and obviously not as glamorous as most people seem to think it is.. but it's beautiful art.

i've yet to watch all of peter jackson's work (yeah, i havent even seen king kong), but rewatching the lord of the rings again really just.. i dont know. especially after watching its makings and all the hard work poured into it, i'd really love to make a film some day. of course, i'm not saying i believe i can make another film of lord of the rings stature, but hey. you never know. one thing for sure is, i'd really want to produce a film that would create an impact. not just an impact on the audience or critics, as most films do, but on every other aspect. the director, producer, talents, camera crew, digital crew.. yknow, the works. such an impact that it would be so hard letting go of it; letting go of the bond that tied everyone in the team. now, that.. is beautiful. even if i dont get to be the one making it, being a part of it would suffice.

watching peter jackson in tears as he did the very last pickup scene back in hobbiton where frodo was talking to sam about the pain that's never really healed (refer to the end of second last chapter of the third film), it just wowed me to no end. lord of the rings enthusiasts, well, even if you're not much of a lord of the rings person but are really into filmmaking, GET THIS SPECIAL EXTENDED DVD EDITION OF THE RETURN OF THE KING! even if you just love films, GET IT. it's super worth it.

ahaha *siGh. no advertising there. i'm just saying how good it really is. =)

altho producing films wasnt really that much part of my things to achieve (technically, i wanted to just produce travel docus and go round the world), but well. i'd definitely wanna do a film at least once in my lifetime. =D

and so the camera continues rolling..

change is good.

2006-05-20T15:21:00.000+08:00

i think this blog calls for a drastic change. real soon. i'm starting to get so bored with it. ahahaa.. change in terms of.. everything. =) hrms. will see how things go..

saturday mornings..

2006-05-20T11:40:00.000+08:00

i love saturdays like these. sunlight streaming in thru the windows.. that feeling inside where you know that no matter what happens, things are going to be all right.. it's that feeling of calm that you've been waiting for all week.

i like.

=)

add to that the thought that auntie and the buggers are coming soon.. that there's a whole week of tennis heart-attacks to enjoy.. that there's singapore and shopping in just a bit.. *smiles dreamily. perfect.

but of course, minus the thought of the three assignments that i've still got to complete before next week's end.. wahaha.

so anyway.

updates!

like i've said before, the stress-iest part of the sem's over, right after the submission of the film&television take home exam (which reminds me once again that i've REALLY got to study this coming hols! dont wanna screw up next sem. yikes.) but there's still a bit more to go before i'm officially free for two months.

'sides that, the bunch of us got to be extras in the upcoming series gol&gincu which is currently being shot in limkokwing. ehehe.. we were just watching the shootings as usual as part of our industrial thingo (me, jas, h-theing and fern) when one of the asst. directors asked us to join in the scene. so voila!, first big screen appearance of us girls. lol. but to tell the truth, i'd much rather say it's a small-speck-in-the-corner-of-the-frame appearance. lol. we were basically just walking around the place to make the scene not look so empty, yet not too crowded either. jas&fern got the walking around part while h-theing&i got the walking up the stairs part. ahaha it was quite not bad. got closer to the actual realm of filmmaking even before next sem! and well, though it's a well-known fact that filmmaking isnt as glamorous as it sounds.. it really isnt! ahaha.. but i still love it anyway. cant wait to produce something big of my own. soon.. very soon. =)

*sighs.

havent been going out much lately, except for last week when chiamie and i went down to subang for cheryl's bday. =) it was so fun, catching up and all. makes me miss high school at times. saw lynda who i've not seen in aGes, and euphrasia too! ehehe.. managed to slot in time before that to find the two ngiauchi po's as well. so here's a shoutout to all of 'em:

ALL THE BEST TO ALL YOU A-LEVELS PPL! KICK SOME ASS. =) then we go back miri have some more fun. =D

here's piccies~!

ngiauchi po's!

group pic of subang homies.

we couldnt wait for the cake to be cut. cheryl's so scared of us! heehee.

the first day of shootings that we attended..

posers got bored waiting for class scene to end.

some more posers dreaming of bigscreen debut haha.

second day..

.. being the cam-hos that we are, we just couldnt resist. =)

okies i think that's enough vain pics for now. ahaha.. toodles~!

stress-free.

2006-05-16T19:40:00.001+08:00

well, at least more stress-free than i've been for the past couple of weeks. just a few more assignments to go before the end of the sem, but hey, i guess it's finally all good now. =) all the strain from the past couple of weeks finally ended when we submitted our film&television take home exam and typography assignments yesterday.

the past few weeks have been nothing but procrastination, work, all-nighters, procrastination, work, procrastination, more procrastination.. and in that order. hence the added pressure. ahaha.. padan muka lah got work to do still relaxing there. =D wont be promising myself to change coz i know for sure that i wont anyway, so it's pointless ehehe..

exactly 1week, 1day and 1class to go before this semester officially ends for me. oh. wait, make that 2classes. ehehe.. after that, it's goodbye work, and hello partayyy~! =) plus all the hot new films that're coming out this summer, daymnn. good thing for hols or else i wont be able to do any work at all. lol.

the monday after next, auntie jenny and the two buggers are coming over for the tennis nationals. after a few days of enjoying tennis and getting my regular heart attacks from supporting the matches, it's down to singapore! whee. cant wait cant wait. *wicked gleam in eye. no need to explain what that's for. =)

after about a week plus in singapore, it's home sweet home.. *sigh. just thinking about it's enough to cheer me up anytime. home for two months! i havent been home for that long since a year ago. =( cant wait cant wait.

gee i sound like some overexcited kid bouncing up and down in the car on the way to disneyland or sth talking about all the rides to be played. hrms. okay dont mind the example i dont even know where it came from. i guess.. it just feels real good to think that home's so close now. =)

hiatus!

2006-05-08T00:29:00.000+08:00

ahaha okay i admit that as of late, my blog seems to be on certain periods of hiatus and sudden reappearances. blame it on the absence of internet again at home! lol.

no time to blog though lately been so busy with work work work and more work. will be so glad when monday's out of the way. at least there'll be a bit more rest then.

hols in three weeks! then it's two months of play, relaxation, and bumming. wahahahaa.. the life.

till then, i gotta get back to preparing for tomorrow's presentation. toodles!

i feel old.

2006-04-18T15:15:00.000+08:00

a week and 19 years of being in this world!

i cant say that i've seen much, compared to so many people out there, and since there's so many things to see and know; but i daresay i've seen enough for me to know how real this world is.

there's the simple things in life, such as how much we grow over time and how we realize every little bit of it as we look back. how it's funny to look at our different levels of maturity at different points of life and laugh at them. how we understand that what we want and hope for now may not be the same as it is in the future. how we learn to understand things better and how we begin to forgive more easily. how people always say we would learn from our mistakes and that time heals everything - and we'd scoff at them by thinking they'd never understand, but after a while we realize that they've been right all along.

then there's the slightly more complicated things like how we deal with the world; the people and everything else in it. how we realize that some people really do mature but somehow, some would never grow up. how some are truly sincere in all that they do, yet some are hypocrites right down to the end. how we yearn to be the best person that we can be; and we try, though of course not always perfectly, as we are only human after all. how there are so many different kinds of people in the world, and that all we have to do is just understand them and why they do the things they do, and we'll finally see things from a clearer perspective.

of course, there's also more complicating things like how the world is real, and therefore shouldnt be viewed at through rose-coloured glasses (but of course, it isnt wrong to idealize once every so often just so long as you understand the depths of the actual world). how some things are just not meant to be and some are - but most of the time it is with a perfectly good reason why they are so, because that is what the Lord does for us. it's like fate; yet also like a path in life that the hand of the Lord guides us through, and all we have to do is trust in Him, no matter what.

obviously, there are many more, but all these are just thoughts that pop up randomly, at random times. of course, i dont claim to know everything there is to know about the world, coz if i do i'd be the happiest person on earth to be able to understand the way life and things work. especially how the human mind works and how there are so many ways of working it! ahaha.. if i had a greater love for reading heavy stuff, i probably wouldnt have minded taking human psychology. but damn. just the thought of all those thick books filled with theories and principles.. eek. =)

but anyway. i digress once again. ahaha..

so there. there's just so many things to understand that as we grow, we slowly learn. and we feel old, just as i am right now. =D

geez. it's such a wonder how the mind matures with time and experience. we dont realize it happening, but it does. and only when we've the time to ponder it over, that's when we realize how much we've grown. (and, of course, what a kid we were before too. ahaha..)

experiences - all good and bad - add to make us the person we are now. of course, it's already been written in theory (now let me try to find a source for that when i've got the time) but it's probably true. i know, i know. it's a fact that everyone knows.. but then, things do take on a new light when you start to really think about it.

experiences shape us. nevertheless, there's still the idea of 'understanding'. the idea of how well we actually understand our experiences and whether they are really as how we see them, or if we've got them the wrong way. it's important because that's what lead us to do what we do. but of course, it's a subjective matter. two conflicting ideas might be 'right' to different people, so the line between right and wrong is unclear once again. therefore it all lies in the understanding. understanding the matter from different views, understanding where we stand on it.. well, basically just 'understanding', or our experiences wouldnt teach us much in any sense.

i look at myself; i look all around. experiences are what shape us to become what we are now. however, that is not the main factor. the element that plays the biggest part in who we have become - is ourselves. experiences are just ingredients of the mix. we are still the main factor that determine how we want the end product to be. therefore, we decide what we want our experiences to teach us; how we want ourselves to become. of course, we'd want to be a better person, but who's the judge of that? different people have different views on being 'better'. but in the end, it's all in how you look at it yourself.

ironically though, there are still those who've taken experiences in a bizarre way; i cant even define how. you just cant seem to determine whether they've learnt from their experiences, or if they're still living in the past. maybe they've yet to understand, maybe there's more they havent seen. it's as though they're still stuck in limbo, unsure of how to take the next step forward.

then again, that is probably part of the learning experience too. learning to 'grow up'.

*sigh. all this talk of growing up's making me feel old. i dont wanna growwwwwww.. i wanna stay where i am now or at least reverse the growth process, if that's possible. go back to ten years ago when life was all hee-hee-ha-ha and simple and i wouldnt know shit to write about what i did just now. lol. that'd be fun.

on the other hand, i cant wait to work either! ahahaaaa.. i'm such a contradictory ass. but really though, i cant. working at cnbc with andrea they all being so nice to me probably spoiled me to the actual terrors of working, and that working life isnt as idealized as i imagine it (or everything else) to be. but heck. i really cant wait, no matter what.

whee.

what a super long post for someone who rarely blogs already huh? lol. i guess it's to make up for all the previously missing posts then. it's my 19year1week old essay! teehee.

<3 <3 <3

ohh ohh ohh..! okay okay fine. enough with the heavy talk. i've got people to thank here. =D

to my family and all my friends, you guys are the BEST!! seriously, family and friends are the greatest gift God has ever given to every single person in the world. so of course, thank You God!! ehehe..

now why the sudden realization? 'tis not sudden, i say. i've always been thankful for family and friends, and how great they are and all things special.. but now i know that they are also the best things to ever happen in life, and that they are everlasting (aww.. now i'm starting to sound like some phrase out of a primary 6 autograph book, but it's true.) =)

so there i was, a week ago the night before my birthday. i was doing my markers assignment (which i have now finally finished, after so many weeks. lol.) on the dining table. chiam wasnt in, coz she said that she had to go over to carol's for something, while shinki was off in penang coz it was their holiday week.

i was a little depressed then; both for the fact that it was going to be the first birthday that i wasnt celebrating with my family and also coz i had a little problem going on that day.

suddenly, about a bit before 1200am if i'm not mistaken, there was a chorus of girls singing 'happy birthday' as they entered through the front door. i glanced at the first girl carrying the cake; she was kinda familiar-looking, but i cant quite place who. as i couldnt recognize her, i assumed she was probably chiam's new friend, i dunno, from church or sth. i then glimpsed at the second girl. hrm. pretty familiar too but i dont think i know her! of all things surprising, this was definitely it. i didnt quite get how chiam would bring people i didnt know to surprise me on my birthday. so i looked at the other two girls following behind.. and only then it dawned on me..
chan, tracy, cheryl, sin mei!!

i was rendered speechless for at least.. i dont know. about a few hours after that? ahaha.. i couldnt recognize my ngiauchi po and tracy at first! it was so shocking that of all the things i expected, i truly did not expect them to suddenly appear through my doorway carrying my birthday cake. it was really unexpected.

i mean, i havent seen all of them since chinese new year. and although subang and puchong's not that far away from each other, if you really think of it, it's always hard to visit coz if one side's free, the other isnt and vice versa. so daymn. it was a super great birthday surprise for sure.

zhan wei called, and apparently he was supposed to come too but i think the cab didnt fit. ahaha.. but i was still happy anyway. =D

then as we all ate cake - with me still shocked and speechless from the sight of my subang and highschool hunnies actually BEING in my LIVING ROOM in VISTA PRIMA, PUCHONG - another unexpected surprise in the form of aaron, max, chua and jackee appeared at the front door. i seriously havent seen them in a long time too as i used to see most of them almost every day last semester, so it was definitely another pleasant surprise.

*siGhs. it was like one surprise after another.

so the subang dahlings all stayed over that night, and it was living room war zone. ahaha.. mattresses were all out in the living room and catching ups everywhere.. =) it was SO good.. like back in highschool once again. *sniffs. i was so happy.

then my auntie jenny and uncle and the bugger called me early the next morning too.. and also confirmed that i'm going to penang this weekend! so everything's great now.. and when we all finally woke up we went for some karaoke-ing.. and daymn. it was fun. joey = addicted. not good. ahahaa.. not good especially if the equation's also 'terribly lousy singer'+'love to sing' coz that would equal 'OH NO'. =D

ahahaa.. but in all, it was definitely one of the best birthdays i've had in aGes! and the one of the best surprises too.

family and friends are the ultimate best. i love love all of you guys so muchhhhhh! dont know what i'd do without you guys. and for this birthday, xoxo to my subang highschool dahlings who came all the way over and especially to chiamie who planned it all a month ago! daymn. i didnt even have a tiny INKLING of it going to happen. ehehe.. mwahs. and also to everyone who msged and called and visited, hugs and thanks so much to you guys too! love every single one of you to bits. friends are definitely priceless and forever, no matter what.

and thus ends the longest post i've had in a long time too. ahaha.. till next time, ciao. have a great day ppls! and a great holiday to me too coz it's holiday week and i'm going to penang this thursday!

whee.

oh and erm. pics later. rushing to finish asgmts now so see if i have time first later. =)

alert: hyper rantings.

2006-04-07T11:10:00.000+08:00

i need internet at home. DESPERATELY.

first off, ALDRIN! ahahaaa.. and REM! =D for bringing us around (especially for the yummy mango loh) two weeks ago at kelana jaya. lol. well.. not that i forgot laaa.. just that, VVIPs need more special mention marrr. right? *big grin. ehehe..

so. what's been up? it's been hell of a week for me. assignment deadlines and all.. but mostly cause i procrastinate too much lah. ahaha. oh and yeah. i finally got my new PHONEEEE! =) chiamie's dad brought it over on tuesday. yum. very happy. hope it doesnt have any more manufacturing probs like the one i returned.

agh. got pics to post up but i left them all in my laptop at home! shiet. this is why i effing hate to have to be able to come online only in college.

and, i've got so much to say but since i'm currently suffering from acute lazypig-procrastinator-slept-too-bloody-late-this-morning syndrome and i'm so freaking highhhhhhhhh~ from lack of sleep, i shall just save them for some other time. but gee. wonder when that'll be?

hrm. any interesting happenings?

- probably will be heading to putrajaya to take pics for our photography class again on monday. cant wait cant wait cant wait. i kinda liked how some of my pictures from the first trip turned out =D wanna try more new angles and perspectives this time around. oo and i wanna take night shots too! ehehe. okay. hyper girl gotta stop babbling.

- most likely will be heading to subang next weekend to chill with tracy, chery they all.. then after that probably going to hang out with the ngiauchi po's. not sure till when tho. coz the week after that i've got hols. =) cant blooody wait.

- the week of the hols: i wanna go to penang!! ehehe.. will probably go la but still checking out tickets and all. if cant get flight also i dun mind getting a bus there. =) yay. anything as long as i get to watch the bugger play, see auntie jenny, and lepak in penang. i really really have to goooooo~!

so there. that's all i cant think about now in my absolutely muddled up mind. i need sleep.

oh! and my baby laptop's officially a year old today! yeay. ehehehe.. but which also means the antivirus protection is expiring and i need to get a new one pronto. agh.

my eye hurts.

2006-03-29T15:06:00.000+08:00

i think i havent had enough sleep. =(

last weekend was such a break from all things stressful that i was so disoriented when i went back to vista prima on sunday evening. ahahahaaa.. i went over to kelana jaya and stayed with auntie jenny and my baby brother from thursday evening till sunday - which i still think isnt enough.

missed seeing that bugger play so much. had a bloody heart attack when he was playing his last doubles against those two expats. shiet. it's so frustrating and yet i love watching so much. agh.. i mean, watching other ppl play.. okaylar. still interesting. but watching that bugger play? nervous breakdown! i really really wanna go to penang for the next leg which is on april 20th laa! anyone wants to go with me? coz i really doubt auntie jenny'll let me go alone. haih. *praying praying praying hard.

it was good seeing the other bugger too aka kevin lee xin de. ahahaa.. he's annoying me as much as ivan these days. and to think, he used to be so nice. lol. and this is reason #1 that i'm thankful i dont REALLY have two brothers. ahaha.. these two are a handful enough!

then it was great seeing my partner in crime tiara dahling too! missed her tonnes. i miss playing in tennis comps! agh. AGH AGH AGH! *tugs, no, PULLS at hair.

so everything was going so fine and all.. i was so depressed when i finally had to leave on sunday evening. craps.

from then on.. it was like smack back to reality. haih.

this week's bloody filled with assignment deadlines. my eyes are so sore from not having enough sleep and even coffee's not helping coz my body's too tired already. i cant wait for break in two weeks' time!!

okay i'm damn tired now. i need sleep. i guess i shall just go now to sleep in the library.

zzZZzzzzz

just off the top of my head..

2006-03-18T08:31:00.000+08:00

- i suddenly missed cnbc so bad this morning. andrea, adeline, jacq, jimmy, priscilla, janice and the rest. even gregg, altho he was never around much. ahaha.. *sigh. i miss i miss i miss. i wanna help on cnbc mobile again. i wanna prepare the asia market update again. i wanna do hotboards again. i wanna transcribe again. i wanna aghhh.. i cant believe that i actually miss working. but it was so fun. =(

- i'm getting freaked out so much lately ahaha. stupid orang minyak storyboard that joe's made us do. it's stupid but somehow i find it scary. geez. trust a chicken like me to get freaked out by something so trivial. i've just started and altho joe's really taught us so much, i still feel i dont know enough to come up with a really good storyboard. the mise-en-scene and cinematography factors.. hrm. ahwells. guess i'll just need to watch more movies for inspiration. AHAHA yesterday shinki was saying how she and arthur were envying how all i have to do for assignments is to enjoy watching movies, while the rest of them have to spend so much time and money $$ for their designs and all. well, i guess there's a pro and con for everything.. ahaha. i DO have to crack my head too for ideas for my film journals that would be good enough for joe (read: joe - film&television lec) and dayymmnn is he not easy to please. heh. so trust me. it's great fun and all, but not as stress-free as you might think.

- mom and the bugger coming on wednesday! cant bloody wait. so i'll be gone for the whole weekend from thursday onwards. ahaha damn i love fridays off.

- speaking of which, i used to have journalism classes on saturdays but i've switched my second stream to advertising. so now, i'm doing film&television, advertising and probably journalism as my elective. cant wait to start my photography. bought a nikon f55 slr from shinki yesterday for a great deal of rm400 WITH tripod and four rolls of film. i'm so happy. =D altho, i've yet to get someone to teach me some basics since i've missed the first two classes. too bad it's not digital tho or else i wouldnt have minded playing around on my own. ehehe.

- i'm very tired. for what exact reason i do not know, but i've been very tired. gotta finish up all my assignments before i take off on thursday and have fun in kelana jaya for tennis. get some time off.. and get dark. teehee. i'm getting too fair now! shiet. ahaha..

okay enough shyt for the morning. ahaha.. i'll be off now. for the time being. =)

spm results out today!

2006-03-13T23:21:00.000+08:00

ahhh nostalgia!

just a year ago i was jumping up and down with my 8A's 2B's.. although hey i know they arent exactly GREAT results, but they're super good enough for me.. considering i didnt really place much hope of even pulling thru without a C! ehehee.. *sigh. this day brings back so much happy memories..

so ofcourse, now a shoutout to my three lil bros kevin, zhi yuan and kenneth:

congrats to you guys!! *huGs.

ehehee..

and also to all other spm-ers out there.. congrats for your great results! and well, even if you may not think they're great, it's not the end of the world. it could've been much worse~! =)

...

2006-03-05T21:17:00.000+08:00

kok lik's finally left us! =(

there goes another one.. first it was jess to the states.. then it was debs back to indonesia.. and now kok lik who's prolly going to UK soon. wonder if i'm next? *sigh. still praying and hoping for it.

had a farewell going-out with kok lik last sunday at sunway pyramid. had kimgary's (i finally, FINALLY had my cheesebaked rice after dreaming of it for 3months plus! yuM. *drooLs. AHAHAHA..) then some shopping, then movie! pink panther is such great shyt if you're one for silly jokes or if you just wanna take a break and laugh your lungs out. lol. i know i sure did la. and so did everyone else in the cineplex then, i think. i'm not really a huge fan of steve martin, but pink panther's totally.. aGh. ahaha. seriously HIGHLY recommended. i dont know what more to say. just watch it. =)

my kimgary's cheesebaked rice!

me with kok lik!
then.. kok lik finally left on tuesday. *sniff. the house seemed pretty quiet at first with her absence.. but it got better la. our tv finally got fixed! so we have like this HUGEASS tv that actually CAN be used.. and i put the bedsheet on the mattress outside so our living room now = super comfy. well, I think so anyway even if no one does. lol. and i also got my bed too so had a super makeover for my room the other day. now it looks like this:

both are views from the doorway. hrm. i just realized i left my pic of our living room in my cam at home. =( nvms. next time then. ehehe..

so.. went for cell group at michelle's place on friday.. met flora from kuching who was lived vanuatu for a while.. and also chang yaw, jeremy's friend - who also happens to be sheaynee's boyfriend but i SO didnt know then! it was damn funny when i realized it the next day. i KNEW he was familiar but i didnt know how. ahaha..

then YESTERDAY.. BIG NEWS. big, HAPPY news. i shall only disclose it when i'm given the right to though. ahaha.. for now, let us just know it as: The Great News That Happened On A Saturday, Wait, No, On A Friday But Only Got Known On A Saturday.

=) happy happy news.

today was mass day! ehehe.. went for mass at CKK this morning with jeremy, flora and regina. met up with so many peeps whom i've not seen in aGes. ahaha.. then we went for breakfast and sunway pyramid after that. watched underworld: evolution. i think it was actually not bad. i was expecting to fall asleep during the film but hey, it was actually good enough. interesting, that one. too bad i didnt watch the first underworld tho.

*sighs.

and now i'm dead tired. i think coz i woke up too early this morning. ahaha.. 0600am leh! coz had to pick ppl up for mass, so had to go extra early. but it was good la. ehehe..

so i guess.. i'll just.. go now. and sleep.

it's raining!

2006-02-19T13:51:00.000+08:00

yesterday,

my laptop drowned.

my room flooded.

my electronics all got drenched.

i had a heart attack.

.. but i thank God that everything was all right in the end. *siGh. all i did was open a WEE LITTLE bit of my room window to allow some fresh air in, went out a while, and the next moment when i entered again..

my laptop was covered in water! i walked in, and there was at least half a centimetre of water on the floor. my table was all wet, and my other electronics (my new IKEA LAMP! my phone charger, camera charger, mp3 player charger, USB cable, camera cable..) were all drenched.

*siGh. a FEW minutes was all it took for so much to happen. i saw it starting to rain in chiam's room but i didnt realize it would be so bad! =( i only imagined a few little drops of water on my study table. mana tahu..

had a bloody heart attack on the spot.

luckily chiamie and kok lik were there to help me dry my floor while i dried all my electronics. heh. <3 you guys.

oh and i know. there's a bloody lot of ppl who'd laugh their heads off if i tell them this incident. 'rain rain there some more lahh.. see now? finally rain on you!' if you dont understand, dont bother. =)

but even though all that shyt happened, everything turned out all right in the end. i was SO scared to try turn on my laptop in case anything happened (or in this case, NOTHING happening at ALL), but it's actually still working! or i wouldnt even be able to type this right now. ehehee..

lesson learnt: ALWAYS remember to close window whenever leaving room. you never know. my dahling rain might miss me again. ahahaa. =)

<3 <3 <3

on friday chiamie and i went to one-U and IKEA! went crazy at IKEA figuring out what lamp to get. there was this REALLY REALLY nice mood lamp that i so wanted.. square and white, just perfect. BUT, it was a tad too dim. cant exactly use that to study. =( so, i finally decided on a pixar lamp! that's what i'm gonna call it anyway. my pixar lamp. ehehee.. it's just so adorable. AND it's yellow light that's bright enough. yeay. so happy happy happy. was so depressed when i saw it all wet yesterday tho. i thought it wont work anymore. haih.

chiamie and i! lunch at TGIF.

my new ikea lamp! =D

stoopid rain that made my laptop wet. =(

but i like this pic tho. ehehe..

film&television and journalism.

2006-02-16T18:38:00.000+08:00

finally finally decided on what minor i'm taking for my degree. *siGh. i initially wanted to do ftv and advertising, but my year leader rosana (really sweet lady) this morning told me that i'd be able to do advertising as an elective in the future.. so, seeing that option, i decided to take journalism as my minor. it'd be good for broadcast journalism =)

so there. registration all done and all.. will be starting uni next monday!

*sigh. i've missed everyone so much! saw jas and tasha this morning during registration, so managed to catch up a bit. as for the rest, havent seen them yet. ahwells. next week is soon. =)

i still miss home though.

365 days.

2006-02-14T23:30:00.000+08:00

feb 14, 2006. today marks exactly 365 days since i've been at kl. i never fail to be amazed at how time flies by so fast.. i just cant believe it. i DONT want it to pass so quickly. i DONT want all these precious moments to go by just like that. and in a quick, immature thought: i DONT want to grow up! =(

for the past two days i've been pretty.. what d'you call it? tired. dead. sad. nostalgic. homesick. all the most depressing adjectives you can think of.

dont get me wrong, i'm happy to be back. it's a new year, a new beginning.. plus i'll be starting the first year of my degree course! everything's going as it should be. but.. there's always a but, isnt there? why cant we be happy enough and satisfied with what we've got? *siGh. everything's going great, but.. something just doesnt seem right.

it just seems as though something's missing. something i cant quite put my finger on..

*huge sigh.

hopefully everything'll be back to normal when i return to uni on thursday for registration.

<3 <3 <3

i'm so friggin' tired from cleaning and moving all my stuff into my room. been at it nonstop since i arrived last night and i'm still not done! ahaha.. but things are at least a bit better today. everything's more organized. yAy. i looove my room. now all i have to do is get a warm table lamp to complement it.

too bad the tv's not working yet tho; it was previously an astro tv and since we dont want the astro, there's nothing we can watch on it coz the aerial's not up. so now we're just waiting for the landlord to fix it and we're good. =D oh, and the hi-fi set too. hRm.

<3 <3 <3

due to us being singles only on valentine's, (lol) chiamie and i had dinner together! after so long of not cooking ourselves and dinner-ing together liao. three months plus leh. ehehe.. my cooking skills also gone already. been such a spoiled brat over the hols =D

first breakfast back in prima.. 'perfect.' breakfast with korean dramas. ahahaa..

my new room! still not really done yet tho. waiting for my bed.

our so-not-complete living room. still a mess. wonder who that green-faced monster is? wahaha..

valentine's dinner with chiamie! my cooking skills need SERIOUS polishing. ahaha..

we fixed this up ourselves! *bangga. well, with a BIT of help from arthur lah, but still. girl power, man.. =)

leaving on a jetplane..

2006-02-13T23:40:00.000+08:00

coz i'm leaving on a jetplane
dont know when i'll be back again..

am currently back in kl. or, more accurately, vista prima, bandar bukit puchong.

TONNES of cleaning up and unpacking to do. i'm so friggin' tired.

saying goodbye sucks.

*sniff.

luckily aldrin was there. and that john and tze chin were sitting right in front of me. if they weren't, i swear i wouldnt have been so calm and cool about it.

i miss home.

with the family! minus daddie who had to go to work.. =(

havent seen them in years - john in white and tze chin in pink.

apek aldrin!

om-ma!

baby bro..

the whole gang. ahahaa..

totally random.

2006-02-11T17:28:00.000+08:00

got some random pics off my cam of the past few weeks since i've been back. lazy to post them all up so well. =) eh anthony ah.. some of these i dedicate to you man.. *BIG SMILE. =D

first stop!

.. which, of course, HAD to be accompanied by my teh-c-peng!

deb came to miri to visit!

and we had dinner at pak guan's place..

.. with ABSOLUTELY GREAT cheese prawns. ohmygawd. =D

touring miri with the indonesian princess ehehe..

marriott's tiramisu cake. SINFUL. *drools.

brought debs to miri's best laksa in town - krokop's laksa.

then it was to taman selera to have our lak-bi-th'ng! (literally, six-flavour soup) *sluRps.

*siGh. there's no place like home..

deb's last morning.. daddie with his two daughters. ehehe =)

chinese new year eve! fireworks everywhere..

.. and huge-ass amounts of $$ all in the skies.. =D

mom and dad pai-nianing at uncle simon's place..

my baby brother with my baby nephew jonathan!

with the two most annoying buggers. =D

gong xi fa cai!

2006-02-03T09:00:00.000+08:00

a very very happy belated chinese new year to all!

ahahaa.. i know this is like, super late.. but erm. the past few days have been pretty packed.. with loads of pai nian-ing and yummy FOOD. =D oh, and not forgetting ang paos. still not too old to get 'em! =)

well, still a week++ to go with chinese new year. hope EVERYONE'S having a great time! cheers!

GONG XI FA CAI!

with all the ngiauchi po's at ngiauchi po #1's place! whee. miss them LOADS.

so there's the ngiauchi po #2 on the left, yours truly in the centre, and the japanese girl to the right. =D

i'm baaaaack!

2006-01-27T17:23:00.000+08:00

ah. it feels good to be back.. both online and home. =)

damn. it's been a long time since my last post eh? missing me much yet? or, more like, missing my meaningless rantings yet? teehee. i know anthony is though. he misses my updates so much that he's getting bored. ooOo. =p

*ahem.

anyways. haha. the last time i blogged, char was still in singapore and my feet were still hurting from that 10hr walk! now, deb has just left for home and i'm back in miri and i've finished my internship at cnbc and chinese new year is just around the corner. daymn. so much stuff's happened.

where'd i start?

<3<3<3

all right.

i finished my internship first. the final week at work was pretty relaxed coz for the last three days, cnbc had this global celebration thing where we had free lunches, tea, massage, manicure, lucky draw, etc etc. i was personally really hoping to win the O2 phone SO BADLY. i mean, even if i got the iPod, i wouldnt mind exchanging it with someone who got the phone (YES, THEY WERE GIVING AWAY IPODS AND PHONES. bloody celaka, right?) BUT of course, with my kinda luck, i didnt get no phone nor iPod. but ahwells. i got farewell gifts from my bosses anyway =D so i'm happy enough.

*sigh. my final day i was feeling so sad. when returned my pass and walked out that door.. you wouldnt imagine how crushed i was. it didnt help that i felt i wouldnt see most of them ever again - even if i would return to work in cnbc, most of them wouldnt be there anymore. it was a pretty bad feeling.

i think that's the problem with me. i get too emotionally attached to things.. then it's too hard for me to let go. *sighssss. happens to everything i get attached to. but then again, arent most people like that?

*sniff.

but well, we exchanged contacts so i guess it'll be all right lah. the world's so small now with technology and all.. we'll meet again. and tho i know they'll never see this,

THANKS HEAPS ALL YOU PEOPLES IN CNBC!! huGsies.

<3<3<3

so. that was last friday. the day AFTER that, i CAME BACK TO MIRI! whee. better still, i came back to miri WITH DEBBY! ahaha.. deb flew back with me on the kch-myy flight. we were making so much noise on the plane, it's a wonder that no one came to shut us up. ahaha.. it's so good to see that girl again..

so deb came, stayed with chiamie for first few days and stayed with me for the last few days. she's only just left yesterday morning..

cant believe it's all happened so fast! just a while ago we were planning deb's visit to miri.. and now she's left already. *sniff.

pictures will be up soon tho. i havent been able to find my cable yet.. it's lost somewhere in my piles of luggage. teehee.

<3<3<3

so there ya go. a much 'tapis'-ed edition of my last two weeks.

gawsh i'm so tired now. been sick since yesterday but i'm feeling much better today. i dont know why, but it seems that i always get sick whenever debby leaves. ahaha. what is this hahh? lol.

well hokays then. next update: pics i hope!

=)

cheers ppls! and have a great preparation for an amazing chinese new year!

how come you're questionnaire-er's better looking than mine?!

2006-01-15T16:47:00.000+08:00

there we were, well into our 5th or 6th hour of shopping, when we suddenly got hijacked by these two guys doing some questionnaires for prudential.

celakaa.. once kena, no escape. terpaksalah waste our precious minutes on nonsense. *siGh. char and i got so traumatized after that. and to make things worse, i got the less good-looking dude somemore. aishh..

so NOT FAIR. =(

ahahaa.. but otherwise, yesterday was great la. yesterday and the day before that. i mean, what else can be better than hours of catching up, shopping, and wholesome bitching? lol. =D

havent transferred the pics to my laptop yet so no pics to show.. agh. add to the fact that i've almost completely lost my voice. my penyakit seems to be returning. haih. make me cannot go out today niaaa.. =(

i wanna go i wanna go i wanna go.. but i'm so tired. and drowsy with medicine. and unable to speak properly. =( =(

thank You God..

2006-01-12T00:43:00.000+08:00

for my 3.87 gpa and 3.85 cgpa!

i'm so happy happy happy that i cant sleep! but which is prolly coz i've slept the whole day already lah but no matter. hehe.

thank You so much for blessing me with my grades!! i know, i know.. they're probably not too great to some of you but to me they seriously only can be blessings from above. and unlike SOME ppl aka tasha the smart ass genius who got a 4.0 gpa (what the hell right?? ahaha) that i'm very happy for but also wanna throttle her for coz seriously, it's impossible to be so smart! but i'm still very glad for her anyway.. *huGs and major kudos to you dahling!

so anyway. i'm digressing. *BIG SMILE. thank You soooo muchhh!

seriously, this semester i've been so stressed out - after every exam only expecting the worst. i barely studied especially for subs that require LOADS of reading and memorizing (which is only actually one - media appreciation) and i BARELY passed the first written exam! *siGh. i guess i pulled through with assignments and final exam.. although i NEVER studied for that too, unless you count last minute studying in between falling asleep. ahahaa.. and that's the only B i got! whew. i really expected to fail media app. the most i'd ever expect was at least a C.. ahaha..

wow. a miracle. oh wait, no, scratch that.. a blessing from the Lord himself. thank You thank You thank You!!

ehehe as for other subs business comm and prof writing i got an A-. business comm i dont mind laa coz i also sucked in that.. but prof writing?? i was hoping for at least an A if not an A+. *siGh. guess you just cant have everything.. i'm still happy enough.. but still! ehehee.. i'm not complaining i'm not complaining.. of course, compare anyone's writing with tasha's? i'm sure rose chin wouldnt even bother to look at the rest of our papers. ahaha..

and finally.. my two A's! design study (*smug.) and intro to advertising (*double smug.).. ahahahaa.. but then i'm sure everyone else also got A's if not A+'s.. design study was fun, and so was advertising. =D but the best of all was getting the adidas report back! wheeeee.. huGs to the rest of our advertising team aka adHoc for the BEST ad ever! ahaha.. well i personally dont know if it's the best or not laa but from the way helmi commented on it, we sure did great. yay to all of us! =) we did great, didnt we?

so yeah. ahahaa.. look at me, all ramblings. gosh.. please dont mind all this nonsensical crap.. but i'm just too happy now. or, in tasha's words, the best way to describe this feeling is GLAD. *siGh. yes i'm truly glad.

thank You so much.

with tissue stuffed up my nose..

2006-01-11T17:11:00.000+08:00

and a superly drowsy head. i wanna get back to sleep but i just cant anymore. i think i've slept too much. aghhh..

filled with medication. i'm finally sick. celaka. went down to the doc's and got an MC for my missing work today. i can even not go tomorrow if i dun wanna ehehe coz i've got a two days MC.. but we'll see how i am first lah by then. i wanna go tomorrow coz i wanna work in production on friday! =)

oo and just as we (grandma and i) were walking back from the doc's, i saw this really cheap top for $12.90! so i went and got it anyway. =) grandma only managed to haggle till $12 (really, i'm seriously lousy at doing stuff like this ahaha) and in the end she said she'd buy it for me instead so yEay. =)

oo and on a completely different note, i want this car.

saw it along orchard the other day when i was out with the family. i wanted to post it up but i guess i forgotten. only remembered when i went through my photos ehehe.. I WANT THIS CAR I WANT THIS CAR I NO LONGER WANT THE MAZDA. :D

so yeah. let me try getting back to sleep again now.

it's raining.

2006-01-10T12:31:00.000+08:00

i love happy endings.

deb might be coming to miri next next week!

it's a holiday and all i feel like doing is laze around.

*siGh.

yes yes yes i'm bored. i dont even have anything to blog about at the moment. i'm feeling so.. devoid of thoughts. maybe because i've been overthinking for the past few days? but anyhows.

the weekend was alright. i dont know lah. lately i just feel so much like staying at home. waiting for more pay $$ before i can get out shopping again. whee.

and my nose is running again. *sniff. it's been raining here everyday nonstop and i'm cooldddddd. but i dont mind the rain lah actually. i love rain. all kinds of rain. =) i just dont like the cold too much particularly after i've just recovered from my sinus last week.

rain, go rain, it's raining, it's raining.

tossing and turning.

2006-01-06T07:28:00.000+08:00

the five hours of sleep yesterday evening did wonders for my nose, but it completely ruined my night!

been tossing and turning, tossing and turning. wandered aimlessly in and out of dreams. weird dreams. *siGh.

on another note, though, the WEEKEND IS HERE! YAY!

aihh i need to get ready for work now.

ducked up, mind you. not fucked up.

2006-01-05T21:39:00.000+08:00

wanna hear something completely ducked up?

i've got my SINUS today and it is oh such bloody joy.

i'd rather be pmsing really horribly.

maggi.

2006-01-04T08:01:00.000+08:00

if there's one thing i realize since coming to singapore, it is this:

singapore's MAGGI Sup Ayam can never be as good as it's malaysian counterpart.

*siGh.

and you would think s'poreans are kiasu and only want the best. =DD

'05 in retrospect.

2005-12-31T23:58:00.000+08:00

a year came, a year passed.

...

i dont even know what to make of it - it's been a pretty.. different, year.

different in a sense that i've broken away from all that i held familiar to for the past, what, how many years? almost the rest of my life. different because i was leaving miri, going to college, living on my own, starting work.. it's all been exhilarating. so exhilarating, in fact, that the year just flew by. without me realizing it at all.

a year ago i was not without nerves. spm's just ended, college life looming ahead.. who knew what the future would bring? i was scared and excited.

now, i'm doing what i didnt even think i would be doing then. i have a job with a prominent news channel in singapore.. i've completed my foundation in mass comm with actually fairly not bad grades.. most importantly, i actually have my future all planned and laid out in front of me - something i never realized i would do. and even if i never fall thru with it (i mean, c'mon, you never know what's gonna happen in the future, do you? what if i end up marrying rain and becoming his manager instead? hahaha. okay i was kidding on that one), the important fact is i actually have an aim RIGHT NOW. and that's what drives you to work harder.

it's funny, really. a year ago i believed i wasnt as good as any of my friends. all for the reason that i felt i didnt have a goal in life, a dream i wanted to achieve. when i looked at them back then, i was envious. they all seemed like they knew what they wanted to do. get a scholarship, finish a-levels, get a degree someplace, become a doctor/lawyer/engineer/pharmacist/whatevershytelse.. i, on the other hand, i felt i didnt have anything. i felt like i didnt even have an inkling of what i want to do in the future.

this year has finally put me on track. i realise i do have a dream after all. i was just too lost to know it before. i look at my friends now, and i'm no longer envious. sure, they said they had dreams. but how many times did they change their minds about it even over the course of this year? no, of course i'm not saying that i'm better than them in any way. they're probably just as lost as i was before. it's just that, people get lost from time to time.. and it's just a matter of time before you finally find yourself.

***

as for friends.. i'm really glad to have friends who've been by me all this while. friends i've known forever, friends i've just met whom i feel i've known forever.. here's a shoutout to you all:

I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU GUYS SO SO MUCH. THANK YOU SO MUCH FROM THE DEEPEST ENDS OF MY HEART.

there's the oldest best friend who's always been there and never fails to be there.. and has never given up hope on me although i've been such an ass for a couple of (i still remember them) times. i dont know if you know how much i mean it everytime i thank you, but really. thank you so much. i dont even know how to define it.

then there's the other great friend who i've only recently gotten to know better this year but at times it seems as though i've known you since once upon a time! we've had great times this year, and the years are just gonna get better ahead. i'm for sure looking forward to them.

there's also the amazing friends who've always stood by me along the way since the last years of high school.. helping me get thru life and studies and guys (haha). my spm results wouldnt have been this way if it wasnt for you guys. major big huGs for you all. we may not have met much this year due to distance, but '06 will be different! i'll make sure of it. =D

ohh and not forgetting the super friends i've got to know this year who're as crazily wacky as i can ever hope my (then) new friends to be.. there's the genius, and the nicecrazy girl, the rest of the masscomm gang, the prima gang.. you guys have made this year a great year for me. and i'm especially missing my other sisters including a new sista on the list! cant wait for many more years ahead with you peeps.

last but not least, there's the crazy friends who i love but rarely get to see anymore.. my pinkcrazy partner in crime.. my 'darling' who's so sweet it's enough to make your teeth ache.. the little kiddos in tennis (mickey mouse here ey?).. the crazy bunch of tennis freaks.. the OTHER crazy bunch of band freaks.. i miss you guys! we always have so much fun. but it's okay. soon we shall meet.

you guys mean the world to me. nothing will ever get in between our crazy friendship. heehee. huGs all the way into the new year and for many years ahead!

***

and while we're on the topic, i love my family loads. as much times as i can use the phrase 'love so much', it will never be enough to express how much i love them.

my pa, who's done so much for me so i can be where i am now (although it isnt very far yet, but will be soon enough).. who's worked so hard so we'd be able to enjoy all pleasures in life and to experience everything in the world.. thank you so much. i wont disappoint you.

my mie, who's been a mother, sister, best friend, counselor, supporter.. everything under the sun. i dont have to say anything, coz i know you understand..

my baby brother, the guy i absolutely love most in the entire world.. you're such a big guy now. whatever happened to the little boy i could always show off to? i'm so proud of you, you little bugger. dont have too much fun without me back home, now.

love love love you all.

***

*siGh.

oneyear. twelvemonths. threehundredandsixtyfivedays. yeartwothousandfive.

what a year.

firsts in this year?
>> my hair was done for the first time by a stylist/someone other than my mother, who's been doing my hair ever since i was born. and this time, i rebonded it. perfectly straight. =DD
>> i skipped a lecture. a few lectures, in fact. voluntarily. yo, whatever happened to ms goody two shoes? ahaha.. still here lah. those were just a few lectures with no content in it.
>> travelled alone in kl in the evening/night for two full freaking hours! ktm from subang-midvalley, metrobus21 from midvalley-vistaprima. daymn that was long.
>> learnt two languages. okay not fully learnt la, but at least a bit. learnt to speak indo and learnt to read korean. =) indo so i can proudly show off to debs when i finally see her; and korean so.. *ahem. i can rain. ahaha.. nolah. learning languages are actually very fun. and very useful.
>> worked! never worked before in my entire life. and this time at some big company somemore. was so nervous before i started. lol.
>> lived alone. i used to be so scared of the dark. toilet breaks in the middle of late night studying usually required a 'ivaaannn.. come outside for a while teman meeee.. so darkkk.. but i need to go toilet.. you stand outside can already. even better, sing. i dont mind. i wont say anything one. eh eh! DONT TURN OFF THE LIGHT! OIII! SO DARK!' ahaha. yeah. and to think. i lived alone at some point of this year. but i'm stronger now. heehee.
>> went for cell! at subang! it's been fun. i'm looking forward to next year. =)
>> driven a car. seriously. i've never done it before till this year. and i passed on my first test. *smug grin. so damn proud of it. too bad i still havent passed my parental license yet though ahaha..
>> experienced an earthquake. well it was just either the after-effects or a really minor one.. but it was real scary. not an experience i wanna repeat.
>> cooked an entire meal! anyone wanna try my 'famous' potayto wedges and brinjals and fried rice? ahahaaa.. please place your orders before i get back to miri/kl and i shall work on it. HAHA.
>> went to a church other than a Catholic church. it's been interesting. :)
and most importantly,
>> i got closer to God than i believe i've ever been in my entire life. thank You so much.

wahlao eh. i realise i have a lot of firsts this year. that's why it's been a different year. ehehe.. i still have many more to add to the list tho, but well. this is a long enough post as it is. hehe.

then there's the japboy, the senget, the monkey, the nofashionsense, the.. AHAHA i cant even remember all. but nvm. they're all nothing. just something for me to put up so i can laugh it off in the future.

last but not least, there's also the oneicantforget. time just flew by so fast, it's hard to imagine it's already been more than two years. there's nothing i can do but wait.. and hope that the new year would bring better prospects than it did this year. i praypraypray that these sixmonths would do me good. i really cant take it anymore. it's been turbulent in '05 for that little part of my life. at times fine, at times dreadful. there was a point i really thought i was alright, but it seems i was just lying to myself.. so now, i'm not gonna lie any longer. i'm sure of my feelings, so i just have to wait for it to slowly fade away.. coz i know that those feelings are only for a being who no longer exists. and i also know that the Lord would give me grace to see this through..

so there. my 2005 in a nutshell.

i guess i've probably grown up more in this year than i did last year. i cant say if i'm a better person coz i still feel i havent done good enough.. but that would have to go in the 'new year's resolution' folder. but i really hope i would be. =) so i would also be a better servant and do whatever He intends for me to do without fail.

there. guess it's time to let go now. bye to '05, hello to '06. here's where the ends meet.

may everyone have a blessed new year ahead!

overdued post for 311205.

2005-12-31T22:27:00.000+08:00

the next day.. headed over to chinatown with ai hwee and gang. =)

chinatown.. i like the 'old chinese' feel to it..

..especially this pic. =)

but of course, lunch was good food (pic shown is pork's head - sorry to offend muslims here.. heh.) so we still managed to finish it anyway. *big grin.

i want wafer ice-cream too!

ahh and i did some shopping toooo! got a boho-style dress and a dark brown top. agh. i just remembered i forgot to snap pics of 'em.

so at night it was dinner for new year's. initially planned to go out, but everything got canceled in the last minute due to some ppl being sick. *siGh. so there it was. ushered in the new year accompanied by gurmit singh and michelle chong live on channel5. but it was still with family so it's been a great new year. =)